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Author Topic: The Agni Saga- Part II (chapter 3(ish))  (Read 1455 times)

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Offline Manuster

Re: The Agni Saga- Part II
« Reply #15 on: April 07, 2017, 16:04:48 »
This feels like the build up to some epic climax. The story telling is great.
 There are still a lot of unanswered questions tho (what exactly do they want from Reina? Who is this Gebai fellow? And Why is everyone's story revolving around Atensei?).
It's interesting enough to keep anyone captivated. Good job.

ikr, but the shit is coming together bit by bit, me likey

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Offline adithya

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Re: The Agni Saga- Part II
« Reply #16 on: April 08, 2017, 06:41:14 »
This feels like the build up to some epic climax. The story telling is great.
 There are still a lot of unanswered questions tho (what exactly do they want from Reina? Who is this Gebai fellow? And Why is everyone's story revolving around Atensei?).
It's interesting enough to keep anyone captivated. Good job.

ikr, but the shit is coming together bit by bit, me likey

I can't wait for the next chapter and I haven't even started writing it xD stick around.

Offline adithya

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Re: The Agni Saga- Part II
« Reply #17 on: April 14, 2017, 19:36:46 »
Chapter 2

Gebai

Act: 1
   Scene 1


A rustic, old shop, with used ninja tools hung on the walls and
chemicals offered for sale. The shopkeeper, a handsome, tall, sleek man with
class. He uses his handkerchief to wipe a glass tumbler. The door opens
and the shopkeeper recognizes the customer. Putting the glass down and
straightning his clothes, he greets the customer.

GEBAI  <loud, enthusiastic>
Ah! Welcome! It has been far too long.

Shady hooded man
Hello, Gebai. Good to see you, what have you got for us today?

GEBAI
Of course sir, come along. I have mustered up the finest meat you can hope to find around these parts

Shady hooded man
I would hope so. After last time, it was a pain to get permission to fund your little 'project'. I'd expect only top notch results

GEBAI
*bows*
I am grateful. I assure you: you will find the product to your liking. Right this way.



Gebai leads the man through the door behind the counter and
the screams of several women are heard, along with loud thuds.
The dark passageway is covered in blood, and the ground with scattered hay.



Shady hooded man
How have you managed to silence these screams? I couldn't hear anything outside. Much better than last time.

GEBAI
Thank you, but it came at a cost. Those pigs from last time came in handy. Shame we couldn't find a buyer.
*gesturing*
Ah, right in here..



Gebai leads the figure to a steel barred door which opens with a loud creak.
Several half-naked women cower in fear at the sight of their visitors.


         
---------------





 

29


It had been quite some time since Shirobi Atense had walked inside the mansion. Waiting on a tree for 7 hours straight was not an activity that 29 enjoyed. Lifting his ANBU mask, he wiped his eyes in frustration. He hadn't been able to listen in on his target, so he decided waiting for an opportunity to follow his objective and find his safe house.


29 had been behind Atense for the past few months. Spotting Atense on his way to the ANBU base was his golden opportunity to get to the missions outside the village. The Atense mission was an open one, and to have had no other ANBU shinobi spot Atense was like a gift meant for 29. If only he could pinpoint the nature of Atense's visit to the Hidden Snow embassy, he would be able to sabotage his plans and get placed in the team of his choice. If this meant waiting for long hours, it was worth it.

Finally, someone came out of the big white and blue coloured building. Swiftly pulling his mask down, 29 was ready to move. Atense looked
around in suspicion, before he disappeared.

'FUCK' 29 exclaimed, as he spotted Atense running across the roofs. 'How did he get so far away?' he thought as he was ninja-jumped across the buildings to catch up to Atense. Stealth was no longer viable, and he had to force Atense to spit out the details. 29 gathered more chakra to his knees and feet, and landed on the same building as Atense.

Chasing Atense, 29 unsheathed his katana, and slashed at his objective only to be greeted with a puff of smoke.

'FUCK ME!'

Putting his sword back, 29 sureyed his surroundings and saw no traces of a huge man with long dark blue hair. He smacked his lips in disappointment and headed back to the ANBU base.

Well, the man had been avoiding top level ANBU shinobi for over a decade now, and 29 wasn't completely sure that it was Atense anyway. But, he still had to report what had happened. Afterall, he had been missing for over 8 hours without checking in.







Reina

'Oh yeah!'

Funky jazz music and fancy people dancing around the bar was so familiar. In the spirit of the historical day, Reina got drunk and started dancing with Akaihono. The wooden floor creaked at their strong thuds and the entire bar was cheering for the two of them.

A few hours of joyous and fast paced dancing had gone by in what seemed to Reina like minutes. The gleeful hours of no worries broke when Akaihono lifted Reina up in the air, when she realized that the bar had no roof. She noticed the pitch black eptiness stretching far and wide, and she reached out to Akaihono as she was coming down, only to realize that there was no one there to help her.

Falling on the floor, Reina had broken her arm. When she lifted her head and looked up, there was no music, and no people around her. She wasn't drunk anymore, and she didn't feel the wood beneath her feet groan and creak.

She saw the emptiness engulfing the entire room, coming closer to eat her whole. Reina ran, and kept running. She could see no destination, but the ground beneath her feet was still sturdy, so she kept running away. The emptiness eventually caught up with her, as she realized what was going on.

When Reina finally opened her eyes, she realized that she was seated in a dark room. What had happened? How had she ended up wherever this was? She remembered one of those guys- Agami had been in her store. Reina felt up her face with her palms, and realized that she wasn't tied up. The room was still pitch dark, nothing to see. As she waved her hands around, she felt a table and cups with what she assumed was sake.

Her vision had never become dull. She could see her nose and the rest of her body just fine; the surroundings had become pitch black, but that was changing. Slowly, the table and the cups became clearer. When she looked around, she was seated next to a bunch of girls, Agami and one of the men from yesterday.

'ol- so shall we start?' said Agami. She realized now that she hadn't been hearing anything either. Genjutsu. Fuck.







Gebai

Act: 1
   Scene 2


A dark passageway, girls- naked and cowering in fear; Gebai
in conversation with the Shady hooded man


Gebai
Excellent; I'll have them delivered by tomorrow. Transportation will be done during the night, obviously; I could use some security though. You never know who is going to turn up and mess up our plans.


Shady hooded man
Of course; I'll see to it that you have five men to do with as you please. I am impressed, Gebai. Funding you next time will not be a problem, as long as you deliver as expected.

Gebai
*bows*
Well then, it has been a pleasure. Let me lead you outside.

Gebai leads the man outside after which he re-enters and snaps his fingers
Swiftly, a white haired teenager appears, bowing.

Gebai
Send the ones in #5 outside the village. *pause* Go with them. I don't trust this.

Teenager
Yes sir. Will I be meeting with the representatives of the Hidden snow?

Gebai
Hush
*looks outside the window with an evil smile*
You never know who is listening.
*bends down to teenager's ear and breathes very heavily as he smells*
             <whispers>
Mmm... give your contact the letter on my table.
              <normally>
So, what's on the schedule for next week?

Teenager
There was a hawk, sir. Kiroshi-sama has sent word that he might visit next week if things go well.

------------------

Hearing the name Kiroshi filled Gebai with so much excitement that he couldn't contain his grin. Finally, he could be himself. He had to start preparing. Oh, what would he wear? Violet always seemed to increase Kiroshi's heart rate.

IF things go well

There was a chance he wouldn't come. Gebai smacked his lips in frustration, but was still excited. He had prepare the shop. No, not the shop. He should take Kiroshi out this time.

'Leave me be' he said to Inoshi 'I've things to do'







Kiroshi


Kiroshi had just sent word to Gebai about the possibility of meeting him. Smiling, he jumped down to the road, and starting walking back to the bar. As he crossed the street, he noticed something off. He couldn't tell exactly what was wrong. It was not anywhere nearby, but somewhere noticable, there was a huge outburst of chakra. It wasn't just one person emitting such power. He felt multiple Jouin level chakra users nearby.


Kiroshi crossed the road whilst trying to pinpoint the location of this outburst.

'Oi Kiroshi!' Saburo shouted 'They're attacking! I'm just about to inform your team. You better get to the culinary district as soon as possible. They're wrecking everything in sight. Something you idiots did really pissed them off'


'But the chakra originated from the opposite direction' he thought to himself as he broke into the bar to get his team. 'What are we to do with the girl? It is possible that the Kimai had come to retrieve a clansman? No, she didn't look like she was from the city.'

As he approached their booth, Kiroshi announced to his team:
'There's trouble at the culinary district. We better check it out' Eyeing the girl, he pulled a kunai from his pouch and shot out of the bar, headed toward the culinary district with his team like last time.

'What the fuck is going on? What was with that huge chakra?' He thought aloud as he scaled the buildings.


----------THE END-------------
« Last Edit: April 18, 2017, 12:06:36 by adithya »

Offline Manuster

Re: The Agni Saga- Part II (chapter 2)
« Reply #18 on: April 14, 2017, 23:54:54 »
noice noice - i  had to read the first parts to refresh but welp its coming together gj

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Offline Hiruko

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Re: The Agni Saga- Part II (chapter 2)
« Reply #19 on: April 15, 2017, 09:55:07 »
Juicy, very Juicy. I enjoyed reading it, it was really interesting ^^. Keep going :D



Offline adithya

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Re: The Agni Saga- Part II (chapter 2)
« Reply #20 on: April 16, 2017, 11:08:09 »
noice noice - i  had to read the first parts to refresh but welp its coming together gj
Welp. Thanks

Juicy, very Juicy. I enjoyed reading it, it was really interesting ^^. Keep going :D
Thanks man. Glad you enjoyed it ^^

Offline StriderOtaku

Re: The Agni Saga- Part II (chapter 2)
« Reply #21 on: April 17, 2017, 07:22:03 »
This plot still remains a huge mystery. A lot of what is said is ambiguous. It's a great read nonetheless and I really want to know what's going on.
Spoiler: show
you seem to use the spelling 'oppertunity' instead of 'opportunity'. Correct it, if it is inadvertent, I believe it is.
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Offline adithya

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Re: The Agni Saga- Part II (chapter 2)
« Reply #22 on: April 18, 2017, 04:34:16 »
This plot still remains a huge mystery. A lot of what is said is ambiguous. It's a great read nonetheless and I really want to know what's going on.
Spoiler: show
you seem to use the spelling 'oppertunity' instead of 'opportunity'. Correct it, if it is inadvertent, I believe it is.


No. You're right. Fuck me Lmao. Can't believe dis shit. I'll fix ASAP.

And glad you enjoyed it :D

Offline adithya

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Re: The Agni Saga- Part II (chapter 2)
« Reply #23 on: December 03, 2017, 08:08:32 »
Yo, been a long ass time. I apologize. I lost interest. I got it back now I guess xD

Quick Recap:
2 guys come to the culinary district and make a ruckus, looking for ‘Shirobi Atense’ resulting in 3 of Shirobi’s men appearing and killing the first two. A new character learns about the first 2 guys’ deaths and is enraged. He’s looking for revenge. A girl was harassed by the first two guys, she was put under genjutsu by one of the 3 people and is in their custody for undergoing questioning. New ANBU character 29 chases whom he perceives to be Shirobi Atense, but loses him. Creepy new character introduced, sells ‘products’ to men, for whom security for transport is handled by the Hidden Snow. As Kiroshi (one of the first 3 men) is informed of ‘trouble’ at the culinary district, he senses massive chakra from elsewhere.



Chapter 3

xx years ago

Kuro Atense

'Atense-sama! Come at once, we have a problem!' a messenger shouted as he broke into the leader's tent 'The bandits have taken over one of the camps in the west corner and our troops are being massacerd! We need directions’ ‘shit' Atense thought to himself. 'Shiro, take your personal troops and head out. We need to secure the west if we are to regain control of the Kazan lands, take one kenjutsu user and another to expend' Kuro said to his right-hand man.

Aghast, the messenger replied 'But lord Atense, even if they are lord Kimai's personal troops, what can 5 shinobi do against THEM? We have no clue as to their powers and we can't risk losing our best defences!'

Kuro hated being interrupted; and his expression changed to one of conviction to one of absolute malice. 'Shiro, here's your expendable man. Get the lay of the land, he says you'll need it' Shiro broke half a smile as he got up and stared into the messenger's eyes and left without a word, leaving Kuro to get back to the war map.

Now that the west had been secured, he needed to allot more troops for safeguarding the Yagami and the Yasoku clans. Kuro had already sent his last remaining powerful troops to the west, and had only fodder to send to safeguard the most significant of clans. 'But both the sibling clans are powerful enough to fend off any bandits their way, but in case they are ambushed by the mercenaries, they will require troops' he thought to himself. 'Damn, I'll send them 10 each; that'll have to do for now'

'Oi!' He shouted to his sergeant 'Send 10 shinobi to the Yagami and Yasoku residences, ask them to take 15 kunai in total, and tell them not to touch the shuriken, we don't have much in stock; and tell them to guard the youngest and bring me Hiro Yagami, he has the information that I need to win this war... Now go!' Immediately his sergeant replied, ' But sir, we have 7 remaining men who can walk, and only 3 who can fight.'

'WHAT? That is not possible, what happened to the ones who returned from the East?' 'They... they didn't, my lord.'



Present Day

Kiroshi

‘Something is definitely not right’ Kiroshi thought to himself as he dashed across the roof tops. He took a decision which he would come to be grateful for and regret in the coming days, as he turned around and headed for the huge levels of chakra, which was somehow closer than before. Which only meant one thing: ‘They’re back for the girl’. Kiroshi needed to hurry back to protect the bar.

Arming himself with kunai in both hands, he landed on the roof of the Atense bar. The user had stopped the excessive display of chakra, but it was obvious for Kiroshi that their target was the bar. Laying in cover, waiting for the intruders, Kiroshi spotted an old friend walking up the street, and into the bar. Swiftly, he vaulted the wall and landed in the alley, peering through the window to observe what was happening.

Kouzen: Agami’s neighbour turned rival. What was he doing here now of all times? The massive chakra couldn’t have been him. After all, like Agami, Kouzen too was a Genjutsu user and he had never trained physically. ‘The girl is still here. Was I right all along?’ He thought to himself. ‘I can take him ou-‘ Kiroshi finally remembered that there was more than one source which emitted the chakra, but it was too late. He felt a sharp pain on his lower back as he fell to the deepest depths of his mind.



Reina

Slipping in and out of consciousness, Reina realized that she needed to break the Genjutsu if she was going to escape this place. But it was far too strong, and she had no more strength to fight. She had used it all trying to stay awake and listen to the chatter. It was only bits and pieces, but Reina understood the commotion that was happening when the table at which she was sitting was emptied of most of its occupants within a matter of seconds.

Gathering her chakra in her limbs, Reina tried to stand and walk out, but there seemed to be someone coming inside the bar, and not going out. He walked right up to her, and suddenly held her by the neck.

‘I will make an example out of you’ He stated as he stared into Reina’s eyes, with bloodshot ones. ‘Sleep’ she heard him whisper, and sleep she did.


Inoshi

Inoshi had been waiting for Gebai to assign him with another one of his ‘I don’t trust this’ missions. Ever since the last delivery, he had been using Inoshi less and expected less from him. But this time he’d prove that his master put faith in him rightly.




Will continue later. I had this written; didn't want to let it sit around on my PC. I've shit planned out, just haven't had the time to write.

 

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