Important News

We have released Shinobi Life Online Pre-Alpha Version 1.1.0.0! This update features Earth Release: Earth Dome Jutsu, Aiming Mode and more! Try it out and tell us what you think.

User

Welcome, Guest.
Please login or register.
 
 
 
Forgot your password?

Discord

Statistics

Members
Total Members: 64464
Latest: mozgyou
New This Month: 333
New This Week: 10
New Today: 10
Stats
Total Posts: 76700
Total Topics: 22244
Most Online Today: 1181
Most Online Ever: 4232
(January 14, 2020, 07:47:33)
Users Online
Members: 3
Guests: 982
Total: 995
Victorsvk
Bogdannbw
Margaretsci
Google (8)
Baidu (2)

Author Topic: Halika's Naruto Fanfic  (Read 23083 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline halika

  • Special Jonin Poster
  • ****
  • Posts: 383
  • Reputation Power: 2
  • halika has no influence.
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Halika's Naruto Fanfic
« Reply #15 on: November 04, 2013, 04:50:30 »
episode one. I guess i didnt explain it well lol. When he came home he heard her upstairs having a good time. When he got up there there was a bunch of noise and she was sitting there butt naked looking shameful. The dude snuck out of the window.

Offline Vreg

  • CEO/Lead Software Engineer
  • Administrator
  • Jonin Poster
  • **
  • Posts: 984
  • Reputation Power: 50
  • Vreg has an aura about them.Vreg has an aura about them.Vreg has an aura about them.Vreg has an aura about them.Vreg has an aura about them.Vreg has an aura about them.Vreg has an aura about them.Vreg has an aura about them.Vreg has an aura about them.Vreg has an aura about them.
  • Gender: Male
  • I run this place.
    • View Profile
Re: Halika's Naruto Fanfic
« Reply #16 on: November 04, 2013, 05:56:11 »
She sat there, naked with a remorseful expression being careful not to eye the open window. I already knew. But why... why would she do this to me?
That sentence makes a lot more sense now.
  • Character Name: Vuregu

Offline Indigo

  • Special Jonin Donator
  • Special Jonin Poster
  • ***
  • Posts: 435
  • Reputation Power: 2
  • Indigo has no influence.
  • Gender: Male
  • IHYPFLMOOSMFT
    • View Profile
Re: Halika's Naruto Fanfic
« Reply #17 on: November 04, 2013, 16:10:05 »
Where did you mention something about cheating? And if they don't believe you, you can just tell them to check your brain with the yamanaka clan's techniques.

'A series of rustles and footsteps from the room followed my statement, but no response.
 
"Mina?" I beckoned again as I opened the door. She sat there, naked with a remorseful expression being careful not to eye the open window.'


Also can't wait for the next episode!


EDIT: Ah, sorry, didn't see there was a second page  :P

Offline halika

  • Special Jonin Poster
  • ****
  • Posts: 383
  • Reputation Power: 2
  • halika has no influence.
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Halika's Naruto Fanfic
« Reply #18 on: November 04, 2013, 17:20:48 »
She sat there, naked with a remorseful expression being careful not to eye the open window. I already knew. But why... why would she do this to me?
That sentence makes a lot more sense now.
LOL!! Sorry dude ^_^;
I'm no writer. Just doing it for fun :D

Offline Vreg

  • CEO/Lead Software Engineer
  • Administrator
  • Jonin Poster
  • **
  • Posts: 984
  • Reputation Power: 50
  • Vreg has an aura about them.Vreg has an aura about them.Vreg has an aura about them.Vreg has an aura about them.Vreg has an aura about them.Vreg has an aura about them.Vreg has an aura about them.Vreg has an aura about them.Vreg has an aura about them.Vreg has an aura about them.
  • Gender: Male
  • I run this place.
    • View Profile
Re: Halika's Naruto Fanfic
« Reply #19 on: November 04, 2013, 18:23:45 »
She sat there, naked with a remorseful expression being careful not to eye the open window. I already knew. But why... why would she do this to me?
That sentence makes a lot more sense now.
LOL!! Sorry dude ^_^;
I'm no writer. Just doing it for fun :D
Haha no man, I just didn't get it. English is my 4th language, so I'm not that good at it... I thought "eyeing the open window" was some kind of expression xD ZetsuusteZ is a native Englishman who did get it, so it's not your writing. You write quite well actually, I wouldn't suspect that being your first story. Maybe all native English speakers can write that well, you tell me.
  • Character Name: Vuregu

Offline halika

  • Special Jonin Poster
  • ****
  • Posts: 383
  • Reputation Power: 2
  • halika has no influence.
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Halika's Naruto Fanfic
« Reply #20 on: January 14, 2014, 02:50:34 »
should i pick this story back up?

Offline halika

  • Special Jonin Poster
  • ****
  • Posts: 383
  • Reputation Power: 2
  • halika has no influence.
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Halika's Naruto Fanfic
« Reply #21 on: January 14, 2014, 02:54:09 »
Haha no man, I just didn't get it. English is my 4th language, so I'm not that good at it... I thought "eyeing the open window" was some kind of expression xD ZetsuusteZ is a native Englishman who did get it, so it's not your writing. You write quite well actually, I wouldn't suspect that being your first story. Maybe all native English speakers can write that well, you tell me.
Outside of writing in class for assignments this is my first story lol. And I dont read fanfic's either, lol. So I wasnt entirely sure I was doing it right, haha. but if you guys like it I'd keep it going.

Offline Vreg

  • CEO/Lead Software Engineer
  • Administrator
  • Jonin Poster
  • **
  • Posts: 984
  • Reputation Power: 50
  • Vreg has an aura about them.Vreg has an aura about them.Vreg has an aura about them.Vreg has an aura about them.Vreg has an aura about them.Vreg has an aura about them.Vreg has an aura about them.Vreg has an aura about them.Vreg has an aura about them.Vreg has an aura about them.
  • Gender: Male
  • I run this place.
    • View Profile
Re: Halika's Naruto Fanfic
« Reply #22 on: January 14, 2014, 03:07:20 »
Yeah sure, it's good entertainment.
  • Character Name: Vuregu

Offline m4r1us

  • Sennin Poster
  • ******
  • Posts: 1 298
  • Reputation Power: 2
  • m4r1us has no influence.
  • Gender: Male
  • Why be a king when you can be a god? Pride.
    • View Profile
  • Clan: Kirishima Clan


  • Organization: Katakiuchi

Re: Halika's Naruto Fanfic
« Reply #23 on: January 14, 2014, 10:34:43 »
should i pick this story back up?
Yeah I'd be cool ;)
Warning: Beware of the BBB!


Tokyo Ghoul          Claymore          Deadman Wonderland

Offline mariusx2014

  • Chunin Poster
  • ***
  • Posts: 152
  • Reputation Power: 2
  • mariusx2014 has no influence.
  • Gender: Male
  • You can't cheath death.
    • View Profile
Re: Halika's Naruto Fanfic
« Reply #24 on: May 01, 2014, 10:57:02 »
episode 4?
  • Character Name: Death
"You have an inflated sense of your importance. To a thing like me, a thing like you, well... Think how you'd feel if a bacterium sat at your table and started to get snarky."

Offline Utunama

  • Xendrus' Bitch
  • Chunin Poster
  • ***
  • Posts: 142
  • Reputation Power: 2
  • Utunama has no influence.
  • Gender: Male
  • Second King Spammer
    • View Profile
Re: Halika's Naruto Fanfic
« Reply #25 on: July 23, 2014, 15:44:57 »
Can't wait for episode 4.As Vreg said, it's good entertainment.
  • Character Name: Utunama