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Author Topic: The Agni Saga- Part I (chapter2Theimageofwhite)  (Read 6064 times)

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Offline adithya

The Agni Saga- Part I (chapter2Theimageofwhite)
« on: December 25, 2016, 09:10:03 »
Hey there, reader! So I read the titles and realized that it needed more explanation. So a little context before you read the next chapter.

The Agni saga, is the journey of Sareko Akaihono, as he creates the clan 'Agni'

I plan to make part I with his travels, reminiscing his past, to flesh out his personality.

Part II will be him meeting someone that makes his travels most interesting,

and Part III will be the direct prequel / chapter I for the history of Agni.

(There's more than ^ planned out for the Agni saga, that I may or may not write. It all depends on how much I can write till I can't. Cause exams. *Sigh*)

That being said, this is all I felt was necessary for this chapter. There's more that's been written, but I feel like it needs its own chapter, with its own theme.

Before you read this, you should probably read chapter 1:

https://www.shinobilifeonline.com/index.php?topic=2913.msg50195#msg50195

Chapter 3

https://www.shinobilifeonline.com/index.php?topic=2918.msg50262#msg50262

SO WITH THAT,

Part one: Drifting memories

Chapter 2: The image of white:


‘A Yagami never falters in the basics’ Hiro Yagami, Sareko's teacher used to say. How was Sareko determined to be a Yagami anyway? He never followed their traditions. He didn’t have the time. Always running, always hiding from the hunters and always in fear.  Leisure was a luxury Sareko could not afford. Until Hiro-Sesei died anyway. The alleged exterminators of the Yagami clan never knew of Sareko’s existence and thought that Hiro Yagami was the last of the Yagami.

He could remember it all like it was a moving painting. He could remember the pearl white attires of the assassins, masked up to their eyes, with jet black hair, and skin that was so white, it resembled a feather fallen from a dove. His memory was so white his thoughts went blind.

Sareko and Hiro-sensei were of the same dark skinned, red eyed physicality, but Hiro sensei’s look had the mark of a shinobi who had seen it all, and was tired of it all, only living for the boy at his leg.

The day it happened, Sareko could hear the sound of his sensei’s flute, soothing his soul from the inside out, giving a calmness to even a young and restless boy of no more than 8. The duo had settled down in a silent and warm village with similar people. No one pried into their business, and the people would gather round, to listen to Hiro sensei play the flute. Sareko was proud of his master, who was the wisest and the kindest person he had known his entire life.

‘You need people, Sareko’ he used to say. ‘Every man in the world needs other people. The success in your life is to have made your mark on them. We don’t just visit these places. We make friends here. We make relationships that live throughout our memories. In your darkest moments, you can look back and reminisce.’

Sareko smiled at his memory of his Sensei’s advice ‘how right he had been’ he thought. He moved on, walking on the side of the volcano. With only a kunai he had flicked on his travels, ready to deal with any threat. Sareko walked on… still reminiscing.

After he was lauded for an impeccable performance and the after performance sake, Hiro- Sensei’s gleeful look disappeared. While they were walking out of the warm looking Mars’ Ramen branch, Sareko ran up to Hiro Yagami, who shoved him away. He had a look on his face that Sareko hadn’t seen till then. His eyes drowned in anxiety,  Hiro broke his flute, shaping it into a bamboo kunai. He used his chakra, and sharpened it, strengthening it to cut down a grown man. Sareko, now on his feet went back into the shop, and watched from the window. His master, holding the bamboo kunai  was in a fighting stance. Ready to end any threat.

Sareko crouched, determined to not make a sound. He carefully eyed the grass beneath the huge tree, a few hours from the village where he had met Chikaze. With the kunai in his hand, Sareko crept up to the tree. He saw a legendary tasting flying squirrel on the branches. It had been a moon since he had anything to fill his stomach. Sareko flung the kunai at his soon-to-be lunch. He heard a shout that made him sick to his stomach.

Sareko used the katon jutsu to roast his meal, forgetting the miserable cries it had made just seconds before. He settled at the bottom of the tree, and started chewing, with a little bit of self loathing, which disappeared when his tongue tasted his lunch.

‘I would’ve let it go if it had flown off, I would’ve forgotten about it’ he thought. Is that what the man with his sensei's Kunai thought too?

Sareko threw up.


---------THAT'S ALL, FOLKS!----------


Again, critique away, tell me what was good and what wasn't. I know this chapter wasn't big, but I split this into 2 chapters. I feel like I needed to choreograph a good fight scene, that'll come up soon. So yeah.

« Last Edit: January 24, 2017, 15:51:46 by adithya »



Offline Diamond Lee

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Re: The Agni Saga- Part I (chapter 2 The image of white)
« Reply #1 on: December 25, 2016, 11:25:23 »
yes yes i like this too. consider making the chapters longer chunks u know
Let the power of youth wash over you and fill you with strength!


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Offline adithya

Re: The Agni Saga- Part I (chapter 2 The image of white)
« Reply #2 on: December 25, 2016, 11:46:51 »
yes yes i like this too. consider making the chapters longer chunks u know

Yeah. This was going to be konger, but i felt like the scene that got cut out deserved its own chapter. It's done being written.. But. I need to flesh it out. To. Be its own chapter.

Offline Diamond Lee

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Re: The Agni Saga- Part I (chapter 2 The image of white)
« Reply #3 on: December 25, 2016, 13:18:45 »
yes yes i like this too. consider making the chapters longer chunks u know

Yeah. This was going to be konger, but i felt like the scene that got cut out deserved its own chapter. It's done being written.. But. I need to flesh it out. To. Be its own chapter.
ja ja understood
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Offline mamita

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Re: The Agni Saga- Part I (chapter2Theimageofwhite)
« Reply #4 on: December 25, 2016, 17:53:20 »
This is becoming a DAMN good story.
Extremely well written!

                                          HIDDEN VOLCANO DISCORD
                                         
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Offline adithya

Re: The Agni Saga- Part I (chapter2Theimageofwhite)
« Reply #5 on: December 25, 2016, 17:58:16 »
This is becoming a DAMN good story.
Extremely well written!

Thanks man :D Read the next one. I just posted it :D

Offline taigakun

Re: The Agni Saga- Part I (chapter2Theimageofwhite)
« Reply #6 on: December 25, 2016, 19:19:48 »
Gj once again Adi


Offline Manuster

Re: The Agni Saga- Part I (chapter 2 The image of white)
« Reply #7 on: December 25, 2016, 19:38:16 »
Hey there, reader! So I read the titles and realized that it needed more explanation. So a little context before you read the next chapter.

The Agni saga, is the journey of Sareko Akaihono, as he creates the clan 'Agni'

I plan to make part I with his travels, reminiscing his past, to flesh out his personality.

Part II will be him meeting someone that makes his travels most interesting,

and Part III will be the direct prequel / chapter I for the history of Agni.


Once again, good chapter however you should aim to make your writing so clear, detailed and explanatory that ^^^ isn't needed. If the reader has to read a summary to know what's going on then there's almost no point in reading at all :p
RIP my old sig, got too annoying for even me

Offline StriderOtaku

Re: The Agni Saga- Part I (chapter2Theimageofwhite)
« Reply #8 on: December 26, 2016, 00:35:46 »
This keeps getting better. Moving on to the next chapter now.gj
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Offline adithya

Re: The Agni Saga- Part I (chapter2Theimageofwhite)
« Reply #9 on: December 26, 2016, 00:51:33 »
Gj once again Adi
This keeps getting better. Moving on to the next chapter now.gj

Thanks guys



Hey there, reader! So I read the titles and realized that it needed more explanation. So a little context before you read the next chapter.

The Agni saga, is the journey of Sareko Akaihono, as he creates the clan 'Agni'

I plan to make part I with his travels, reminiscing his past, to flesh out his personality.

Part II will be him meeting someone that makes his travels most interesting,

and Part III will be the direct prequel / chapter I for the history of Agni.


Once again, good chapter however you should aim to make your writing so clear, detailed and explanatory that ^^^ isn't needed. If the reader has to read a summary to know what's going on then there's almost no point in reading at all :p

Alright. Noted. Thanks man
« Last Edit: February 09, 2017, 13:57:41 by adithya »