Description of the character's history: If I find motivation, I'll write it .

Did you find it yet? I suggest you stick 'missing posters' around the town and contact the local police.
God bless.
And welcome to SLO

Adopted *niece you mean?
Or idk.
It was a little confusing in the begining.
Yet again I couldn't feel the kick like before.

So since you don't like shinobis... Will you not be a shinobi? I mean this game is about being shinobi. :/

And if you become what you distaste, then that'll be double standards... js.

Anyways welcome to slo. Hope you stick around.

Doujutsu kekei genkai called Akamegan  this eye would give users the ability to see players on larger distance then normal (players will be showed on minimap on large distance) And it would look something like this:

First of all, akame itself stands for red eye, so naturally it should be red.
Also, if only telescopic vision is the power of this eye, then I'd suggest either add more powers or merge it with other dojutsus.

Doujutsu kekei genkai called Kazamegan this eye would give users the ability to master any fire style jutsu faster and use it with less chakra cost and would look like this:

Pretty cool, but imo, mastering a jutsu should solely be based on the player's skill.
You could say user could deal more damage with fire jutsu than his contemporaries

Doujutsu kekei genkai called Riyokugan this eye woud give users the ability to see trough genjutsu and apply genjutsu on someone faster normal. It would be upgraded to Mangekyou Riyokugan and will give users the ability to cast special genjutsu that stuns victim for 15 seconds but it would requier lot of chakra. The Mangekyou Riyokugan can be unlocked by killing someone who already (onlye 1 or 2 people on server randomly gived by administration)  have it and taking taking the eyes or passed on future generations from someone who already have it (for geting the Passed M.Riyokugan you must first have the normal Riyokugan unlocked)

Eye Design (Left is normal and right is mangekyou) 

This Doujutsu won't give the users big advantage and can be unlocked simply by training.

Basically a modified sharingan. I should have known by looking at the pictures >_>
I don't get how it won't give users big advantage,  I mean it can help you save your neck from incoming genjutsus and help you cast genjutsus more efficiently. What else! U may be able to upgrade it to next level and stun your opponent for 15 fkin seconds.
That'll be almost OP!

Heya welcome to SLO.
It was a good character story, a bit overdone in some places and some possible errors (maybe)
Got some suggestions you can use to improvise the story

sun of the Tsukinami clans co leader,Kenotama.

*son

Benzashi DASHED to flare with sonic speed and Punched him in the face with all of his might.Automaticly,Benzashi won that round,

*Automatically.
Also, I'd like to know how he won the round automatically. Did he knock the opponent out? Did he kill him?
A punch at sonic speed could easily kill. Not only that, it could leave your hand in tatters (unless you use some kind of chakra enhancement/ protection)

Tarik was jelous of all the power Benzashi had so he stole a kage scroll,learning hidden tehniques such as the multi clone jutsu and the rasengan,even tho he cant do it well,so he challenged Benzashi to a fight.

It would be better if you re-word rasengan and chidori or any jutsu which is / could be possibly a copyright of Naruto. 

so he DASHED IN towards the water prison,but as soon as he hit the prison,Tarik turned into a log.IT WAS A CLONE!

Okay so log is a common object used in substituition jutsu. Shadow clones usually just vanish on being damaged.
What you have described won't be possible; unless the clone itself was using substituition.
And idk if clones can survive inside a water prison.

Benzashi fought Tarik with His water/thunder explosion shrunken in his hand,

*Shuriken?

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It was good to read a char history. Especially since not many are popping up these days :3
Good luck and welcome (once again )

It was like breaking the fourth wall, without actually braking the fourth wall.

I Laughed yeah....'art of pussy' and all puns
 It's fun reading Osoman and his adventures... keep posting

Jutsu Name: Sesy lady jutsu
Jutsu Type: Ninjutsu,TaiJutsu,Scensory,Genjutsu
Jutsu Description: creates shadow clones and transform all of them into sesy ladies
Jutsu Level: Master
Chakra Nature: any
Jutsu Range:Large
Effects if hit: The victim looses complete control and fall unconscious xD

Much originality.
Not to forget 'sesy' ladies cause nosebleed.
It can cause blood loss leading to death too.