Important News
User
Discord
Statistics
Show Posts
16
Naruto Fanworks / A New Fanfic- Need Reviews
« on: January 02, 2015, 02:21:40 »
Hey guys. Due to the recent number of fan fictions about their SLO characters I decided to make one about my character, Hachemon Naro. I need reviews, since I kinda want to get better at it. Enjoy, and make sure the comments aren't too harsh 
Also if i keep updating will anyone actually read it? XD
Chapter 1- The Watcher
Hachemon Naro was just a normal Jonin in the Hidden Thunder Village. He was on a special guarding mission for the Daimyo of the Land of Thunder when his team of four Jonin was ambushed by a group of highly trained rogue ninja of the Hidden Snow who were trying to assassinate the Daimyo. It was just his luck that today, he had gotten split up from his team.
“Shit,” Hachemon thought as he was running through the woods. Two Hidden Snow rogue shinobi were chasing after him throwing kunai and shuriken at his back. Hachemon had been lucky so far and had only gotten slight scrapes as they screamed past his body.
“Just my luck that of all of the people to be split up from the group its me!” He cried in anger. "These guys are easily Jonin!" Suddenly, a kunai struck him in the shoulder blade and caused him to fall to the ground in agony.
“This is really getting annoying,” he thought as he turned around to finally face his opponents..
“Water style: Raging Waves!” Waves of water crashed through the trees, knocking them down. Hachemon landed on a nearby tree to see if his jutsu had hit the rogue ninja, but to find the area empty of them.
“Where did they go?” Hachemon ponders only to hear “Wind Release: Divine Wind and Fire Release: Running Fire from behind him.
“Shit!” Hachemon screams as tornados of fire rage at him.
“Water Style: Giant Vortex Jutsu!” His vortex of water crashes against the combination of fire and wind ninjutsu and creates a ginormous cloud of steam.
“Now’s my opportunity,” Hachemon thinks as he creates a shadow clone and jumps into a nearby tree. The cloud of steam opens up to reveal the two ninja with their katana out rushing toward the clone. The battle rages on, with the clone barely holding on against the two ninja by using his chakra enhanced blades.
“Now I have to think of a plan.” Hachemon thinks as he watches the battle ensue. He watches the movements of the ninja and looks for openings in their stances, and finally figures out their weaknesses. It happened at a perfect time, for just when he figured it out his clone was stabbed through the chest by one of the enemy ninja.
“Shit, we were just fighting a clone!” yells one of the ninja as they search for Hachemon. They don’t have to look long, for Hachemon then jumps down from his hiding spot.
“Before I kill you two, I want to know your names.” He exclaims as a murderous intent flares off of the two ninja.
“There’s no way that you’re going to kill the Hingo brothers of the Snow!” they exclaim.
“Ohh, you guys are the Hingo brothers. I thought they would be tougher.” This angers the brothers, as both of them charge with their katana. Hachemon brings out his chakra enhanced blades, and parries both swipes to the side.
“It shouldn’t be long until the opening happens.” Hachemon thinks as he continues to parry their attacks.
“There!” He mentally screams as he finds the opening. He ducks to the ground as the Hingo brothers swipe simultaneously their katana to the ground. Without Hachemon to parry their blows, their momentum brings their swords down, causing them to stick into the ground. He then uses that moment to swipe his blades up, stabbing the brothers simultaneously in the chest.
“How did you do that?” One of them exclaims with pain contorted on his face.
“When you were fighting my shadow clone, I watched you every moment and realized that you had a weakness. When you two simultaneously swipe to the ground with you katana, it leaves your chests wide open.”
“Curse you!” They both exclaim as they both pull out paper bombs. “If were going to die, your going to die with us!” They both exclaim as they use their hands to create the “Snake” hand sign.
“Damn!” Hachemon exclaims as he creates a shadow clone and throws himself out of the blast radius, killing the clone instead of the real self.
“I knew I should have stayed in bed.” He says as he starts to walk back to where his team should be, but fails to notice someone in the trees watching his every move with a gleam of amusement in his eyes.
Also if i keep updating will anyone actually read it? XDChapter 1- The Watcher
Hachemon Naro was just a normal Jonin in the Hidden Thunder Village. He was on a special guarding mission for the Daimyo of the Land of Thunder when his team of four Jonin was ambushed by a group of highly trained rogue ninja of the Hidden Snow who were trying to assassinate the Daimyo. It was just his luck that today, he had gotten split up from his team.
“Shit,” Hachemon thought as he was running through the woods. Two Hidden Snow rogue shinobi were chasing after him throwing kunai and shuriken at his back. Hachemon had been lucky so far and had only gotten slight scrapes as they screamed past his body.
“Just my luck that of all of the people to be split up from the group its me!” He cried in anger. "These guys are easily Jonin!" Suddenly, a kunai struck him in the shoulder blade and caused him to fall to the ground in agony.
“This is really getting annoying,” he thought as he turned around to finally face his opponents..
“Water style: Raging Waves!” Waves of water crashed through the trees, knocking them down. Hachemon landed on a nearby tree to see if his jutsu had hit the rogue ninja, but to find the area empty of them.
“Where did they go?” Hachemon ponders only to hear “Wind Release: Divine Wind and Fire Release: Running Fire from behind him.
“Shit!” Hachemon screams as tornados of fire rage at him.
“Water Style: Giant Vortex Jutsu!” His vortex of water crashes against the combination of fire and wind ninjutsu and creates a ginormous cloud of steam.
“Now’s my opportunity,” Hachemon thinks as he creates a shadow clone and jumps into a nearby tree. The cloud of steam opens up to reveal the two ninja with their katana out rushing toward the clone. The battle rages on, with the clone barely holding on against the two ninja by using his chakra enhanced blades.
“Now I have to think of a plan.” Hachemon thinks as he watches the battle ensue. He watches the movements of the ninja and looks for openings in their stances, and finally figures out their weaknesses. It happened at a perfect time, for just when he figured it out his clone was stabbed through the chest by one of the enemy ninja.
“Shit, we were just fighting a clone!” yells one of the ninja as they search for Hachemon. They don’t have to look long, for Hachemon then jumps down from his hiding spot.
“Before I kill you two, I want to know your names.” He exclaims as a murderous intent flares off of the two ninja.
“There’s no way that you’re going to kill the Hingo brothers of the Snow!” they exclaim.
“Ohh, you guys are the Hingo brothers. I thought they would be tougher.” This angers the brothers, as both of them charge with their katana. Hachemon brings out his chakra enhanced blades, and parries both swipes to the side.
“It shouldn’t be long until the opening happens.” Hachemon thinks as he continues to parry their attacks.
“There!” He mentally screams as he finds the opening. He ducks to the ground as the Hingo brothers swipe simultaneously their katana to the ground. Without Hachemon to parry their blows, their momentum brings their swords down, causing them to stick into the ground. He then uses that moment to swipe his blades up, stabbing the brothers simultaneously in the chest.
“How did you do that?” One of them exclaims with pain contorted on his face.
“When you were fighting my shadow clone, I watched you every moment and realized that you had a weakness. When you two simultaneously swipe to the ground with you katana, it leaves your chests wide open.”
“Curse you!” They both exclaim as they both pull out paper bombs. “If were going to die, your going to die with us!” They both exclaim as they use their hands to create the “Snake” hand sign.
“Damn!” Hachemon exclaims as he creates a shadow clone and throws himself out of the blast radius, killing the clone instead of the real self.
“I knew I should have stayed in bed.” He says as he starts to walk back to where his team should be, but fails to notice someone in the trees watching his every move with a gleam of amusement in his eyes.
Top Posters
Follow @SLO_MMORPG