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Author Topic: The Agni Saga- Part II Chapter 1  (Read 11680 times)

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Offline adithya

The Agni Saga- Part II Chapter 1
« on: March 22, 2017, 10:16:43 »
The Agni Saga- Part II

Side note: You don't need to have read the previous chapters to understand what will go on from here, but of course they will play a part in future chapters. So read them if you're intrigued by this :D


Prelude


‘Tell me… where can I find him?’ 

‘The culinary district. He’s been known to serve the best ramen.’

‘You better be right. I don’t like taking multiple trips.’

‘Just ask for Shirobi Atense; you won’t have to wait.’



The sound of water speeding through the small creeks always seemed to delight Reina. Rubbing her eyes, she woke up to the sunlight gently caressing her brown hair. She walked out and started getting ready for the day- kneading the dough, cleaning the mats, polishing the counter and finally turning the sign to open the ramen distillery. She let out a sigh, and waited for her first customer.

Somber piano on the radio and a lazy morning didn’t seem to faze Reina’s motivation to keep making more noodles. She knew that someone would come along eventually, and she was right- the first customer of the day was an accountant who lived a few blocks away and worked at the village’s arena.

‘Ah, welcome Higeshi-san. The usual?’ Reina asked with a pleasant smile.

‘That's right, Reina’ replied Aizawa Higeshi'

‘You never lose that smile of yours, do you? It has been 7 months since you started, and I’ve never seen you in a bad mood’

‘I guess things have been good for me since I quit being a shinobi’

‘Yes, a shinobi lifestyle doesn’t suit everyone’

Reina knew that all too well. After all, she had moved to the Kazangakure with Akaihono to train to be the best user of ninja tools and ended up messing up worse than she could imagine.

Reina always believed that being a shinobi was a given, she assumed that she would rise up and become the kage. She had never even considered the possibility of her messing up as badly as she did.

‘Here we are. Enjoy!’ she delivered the ramen.

As she turned back to work, Reina heard a loud crash outside. After sharing a look with Higeshi, she headed out to see what the commotion was.

The vegetable vendor Takaoki-san was on the ground, potatoes all around. He had a foot on his throat.

‘Who is Shirobi Atense here?’ asked the buff brute who had put Takaoi-san on his back.

‘Tell us where to find him and we won’t break your neck’ said the hooded man who had his foot on Takaoi-san.

‘Let us head back in. We do not want any trouble’ Reina whispered to her customer as she swallowed in her shame and fear.

Reina felt eyes on her as she headed inside.

‘I swear, I have no idea who that is!’  Takaoi-san replied.

‘Yaa-chan, I’m going to ask other people. You take care of little Mr. Vegetable here’

The hooded man followed Reina into the shop.

‘Hello, little lady’

‘W..welcome. Would you like a bowl of our finest ramen?’ Reina asked, nervously.

The hooded man smiled.

‘Nice try. Unfortunately, I am an impatient man. Tell me where I can find Shirobi Atense’

‘I haven’t heard of that name, I apologize’ Reina lied

‘Don’t fuck with me, you little bitch. I could kill the both of you and burn down this little distillery without a second thought. Now tell me. Where can I find Shirobi Atense?’

With her hands shivering Reina started to sweat, not knowing what to do. She heard another loud crash. The man pulled his hood down in surprise, revealing his short white Mohawk, and a violent scar down the back of his skull.

‘Yaa-chan, is everything alright?’

‘Oh of course. Everything is lit as fuck, boy.’

Confused, the man stepped outside and within seconds, Reina heard him fall. He had fallen to the ground, face first. Reina was relieved, but weary still. She peered outside her window. The Atense gang were facing off against “Yaa-chan”. With one eye closed and bleeding, the brute was in obvious pain as he stood against three men.

The one on the far left was wiping his kunai.
The one in the middle had a cigarette in his mouth,
And the last one was pulling his kunai out from the throat of the man with the white colored Mohawk.

The dark skinned man-killer stared into Reina’s red eyes with a pair of his own as he pulled his kunai out of the man with the mohawk. He turned around and flung his kunai at Yaa-chan swiftly, with no effort. It was too fast to evade, but Yaa-chan had managed to save his other eye at the cost of his fist.

The one on the far left leapt through the air, landing on Yaa-chan’s shoulders and bitch-slapped him. They continued to attack him till he fell to his knees as blood and tears covered his face.

The man in the middle finally spoke.   

‘Scurry back and tell your piece of shit boss how badly you were beaten. Shirobi Atense doesn’t spare his precious time on fools’

After letting out a puff of smoke, he put out his cigarette on Yaa-chan’s remaining eye, and walked over to Takoi-san. He bowed and apologized for the mess. He turned around and looked at Reina with disappointment before he leapt into the air along with the other two.


----The End----

« Last Edit: June 15, 2019, 20:04:03 by adithya »



Offline StriderOtaku

Re: The Agni Saga- Part II [Prelude]
« Reply #1 on: March 22, 2017, 16:14:35 »
I can't praise the storytelling enough. A few technicalities or preferences here and there but that aside, this is quite the interesting, fast-paced story.
Great job. You and Snoopy just go on feeding my literary spirit.
  • Character Name: Ikiryo

Offline adithya

Re: The Agni Saga- Part II [Prelude]
« Reply #2 on: March 23, 2017, 04:19:54 »
I can't praise the storytelling enough. A few technicalities or preferences here and there but that aside, this is quite the interesting, fast-paced story.
Great job. You and Snoopy just go on feeding my literary spirit.
Thanks man :D

Offline AY0

Re: The Agni Saga- Part II [Prelude]
« Reply #3 on: March 23, 2017, 10:46:46 »
Good Job Ma Boi!
  • Character Name: AYO



Offline Kakashi Natsu

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Re: The Agni Saga- Part II [Prelude]
« Reply #4 on: March 23, 2017, 12:11:43 »
LOL, nice work.
Quote
The one on the far left leapt through the air, landing on Yaa-chan’s shoulders and bitch-slapped him.
Like a G.

Offline adithya

Re: The Agni Saga- Part II [Prelude]
« Reply #5 on: March 23, 2017, 13:28:06 »
Good Job Ma Boi!
Thanks

LOL, nice work.
Quote
The one on the far left leapt through the air, landing on Yaa-chan’s shoulders and bitch-slapped him.
Like a G.
Lmao yeah. XD thanks

Offline Manuster

Re: The Agni Saga- Part II [Prelude]
« Reply #6 on: March 23, 2017, 15:26:42 »
This raises so many questions...who is Shirobi? whos looking for them? how does reina know them? who saved reina??

good quite interesting




You and Snoopy just go on feeding my literary spirit.

*chuckles suspiciously*
RIP my old sig, got too annoying for even me

Offline StriderOtaku

Re: The Agni Saga- Part II [Prelude]
« Reply #7 on: March 24, 2017, 00:53:23 »
Quote from: Manuster link=topic=3195.msg55123#msg55123
You and Snoopy just go on feeding my literary spirit.

*chuckles suspiciously*
Why though?
  • Character Name: Ikiryo

Offline adithya

Re: The Agni Saga- Part II [Prelude]
« Reply #8 on: March 24, 2017, 06:14:04 »
This raises so many questions...who is Shirobi? whos looking for them? how does reina know them? who saved reina??

good quite interesting


Lmao Yeah will get to all that soon enough

Thanks :P

Offline Toratsume Nyshn

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    Glory to the Black Rose
Re: The Agni Saga- Part II [Prelude]
« Reply #9 on: March 25, 2017, 10:16:25 »
Ah... had been waiting after binge reading the previous chapters :3
Cant yet comment much on the story... I am kinda confused now, but yeah, storytelling is as immersive as always. Anyways looking forward for more :)




Offline adithya

Re: The Agni Saga- Part II [Prelude]
« Reply #10 on: March 25, 2017, 16:45:30 »
Ah... had been waiting after binge reading the previous chapters :3
Cant yet comment much on the story... I am kinda confused now, but yeah, storytelling is as immersive as always. Anyways looking forward for more :)

Yeah xD needed a break from the og characters. This will tie in with the previous plot line later down the arc.

Thank you for reading :D

Offline adithya

Re: The Agni Saga- Part II
« Reply #11 on: April 05, 2017, 16:33:42 »
Update:

Yo people! I've decided to post the consecutive chapters on this thread as it is more of a self contained story for now and will remain so for a while. (dw, this will tie into the main story line down the road, but for now I'm going to devote most of my importance to the new characters)

Please do give it a read and let me know what you think :D

Chapter 1

Kouzen

Yaa-chan had been at the training area for the past 3 days and they had finally received an order from the higher ups. After their last successful mission in kidnapping the three targets, Kouzen was pretty cocky and had missed out on the new mission. He didn’t really know what was going to happen to the three women, but he received his payment and could keep Yaa-chan training.

Lazily putting on his clothes, Kouzen sighed and searched around the room for his wallet. He had to pay the girl after all, for what he assumed was an amazing night. Kouzen was too hung over to remember.

Smiling to himself, he pulled out a couple of hundred ryo from his pocket and was relieved he didn’t have to go through the most girly looking hotel room he had been in.

‘Here’ he handed the money over to the girl, lazily.

The girl's face flushed red with anger and slapped Kouzen.

‘What the fuck woman?!’ he shouted

‘DO I LOOK LIKE A WHORE TO YOU? GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW!’ she screamed in embarrassment and anger

‘Oh shit!’ Kouzen exclaimed as he grabbed his things and darted outside.

He hadn’t found his wallet, but it was too late now.

‘Well, it isn’t like there was much in it’ he thought to himself. ‘At least I have a couple on me... I hope I never have to see that one again'
 
Buttoning up his shirt, he walked over to the nearest store and grabbed a smoke.

Letting out a huge puff of smoke, Kouzen walked over to the Kimai pub a few streets over. Fixing his long and flowing hair, he was debating if Yaa-chan would have already completed their mission by himself or would’ve been assigned another partner. If he was assigned a partner, Kouzen would finally be a part of a three man squad. If it was anyone, it had better been Nagi who was Yaa-chan’s partner. He knew that the two of them would cover for him.

Listening to all the other guys talk about their stupid fucking adventures as a Genin pissed him off. His childhood of  getting homeschooled was the worst time of his life. His mother had constantly bugged him with the shitty books and taught him how to meditate right instead letting him practice his Shuriken Jutsu with the kids down the street. At least he could fuck all the girls he wanted to with just the touch of his finger. But it was nothing to ponder over anymore. He was a real man now.

When he finally turned the corner and approached the pub, Kouzen knew something was off. There was no one shady looking outside the pub and things were dead silent. He approached the entrance with his guard up, and peeked through the window to take a look at the situation inside.

The entire gang was there, excepting a few of the higher level chiefs, and instead of the usual cheer and laughter, it was sadness and anger on the faces of his comrades. Kouzen scowled as he entered the pub.

Inching his way to the edge of the pub, he asked Tensen, the kenjutsu expert with the long dark hair

‘Yo, what’s happening man?’ 

‘Where have you been?’ Tensen asked

‘Uhh, with Yaa-chan, taking care of business as usual’ he lied as he chuckled nervously.  Tensen's expression turned to one of disappointment and sadness upon hearing Kouzen's reply. He remained tight lipped after their small exchange.

Confused with the reaction he was met with, Kouzen realized once again, how silent the pub was. It was an odd silence, and one that made Kouzen wary. The pub no longer smelled like beer and fine women... No, this was a familiar smell. One that haunted Kouzen.

A few years ago, Kouzen's dog had died. The usual one night stands had gotten to their peak, and Kouzen hadn't been home in more than a week. He had deprived Shark of any exits, and had no food left for him to survive off of. When the thieves broke in, Shark was already too weak to fend them off, but was loyal enough to protect his owner's home. When Kouzen returned home the next day, he threw up at the smell.

With no one explaining what was going on, Kouzen had a bad feeling. He felt something pulling at his chest, telling him to close his eyes, and run away. He tried to get a better look from behind. There seemed to be something big on the counter. He turned to Tensen once more and asked him, a bit louder this time

‘Hey man what the fuck is happening? Why is everyone so silent?’

Immediately,  ‘Is that Kouzen?’ said a voice from the counter.

‘Y..yeah, hey boss’ he replied nervously.

Akeru Kimai sighed loudly and signaled to the crowd to make way for Kouzen to witness Yaa-chan and Nagi’s corpses on the counter.



Reina


The sound of water speeding through the small creeks always seemed to delight Reina. Rubbing her eyes, she woke up to the sunlight gently caressing her brown hair.
She walked out, to start getting ready for the day; kneading the dough, cleaning the mats, polishing the counter and finally turning the sign to open the ramen distillery.
She let out a sigh, and waited for her first customer.

Somber piano on the radio, and a lazy morning didn’t seem to faze Reina’s motivation to keep making more noodles and cutting the vegetables.

Not a thing had changed in her routine. After all, Reina was nothing more than a ramen cook. Involving the Kazan police or the shinobi was not her job. After all, none of her property was damaged. She stepped out for a quick look at the things that were going on and saw that the street was all cleaned up, and it was as usual. The way people had disregarded what had happened amazed Reina. ‘What pathetic existences. No impact on the world, no one important enough to take action against the crimes’ She realized the hypocrisy in her thoughts as she was thinking them, but she did nothing about it.

But Reina was wrong. Something HAD changed. Her minuscule involvement with the men yesterday had affected Reina. As she monitored the culinary district, she saw one of the men from yesterday. He had a cigarette in his mouth, and had tucked his hands into his pockets, letting out a huge puff of smoke staring at the sky. The man was walking toward her.

‘He’s trying too hard’ was the first thought she had.

Reina hurried back inside the distillery, hoping that the man wouldn’t enter, but she had already started preparing her signature ramen.

As he walked in, the man took off his humongous fur coat and placed it on the chair, and took a seat.

‘Ah, welcome. Would you like a bowl of our finest bowl of ramen?’

Biting his glove off his hand, he replied with a nod and took his seat.

‘Reina’s ramen distillery. Quite… unique... is that your name?’

‘haha, yeah, I am Reina.’ She replied nervously as she turned around and placed the bowl in front of her customer.
 
‘That's a very... nice name. Very nice indeed. My name is Agami. We uh... Made eye contact yesterday. You know, with the whole fighting and the cutting. I must tell you, that was just business.’

Reina smiled politely. She saw how awkward Agami was and how bad he was at talking, but she was wondering why was here. Was he going to silence her? No, they seemed like the good guys yesterday.

‘How is the food? Is it to your liking?’ She asked him as she refilled the ramen used for Agami.

Half swallowing, Agami replied ‘oh it is amazing. You’d make a great cook, Reina of the ramen! ’

The cringe is fucking real, Reina thought.

Quickly reading the room, Agami finally broke the awkwardness with a serious tone ‘You must be wondering why I’m here. I need to know: what was your affiliation with those two men? Did you know them? Do had ties with the Kimai?’

Startled, Reina replied ‘No, I didn’t know them. I might’ve served them some of my ramen occasionally, but I do not know them personally.’

‘So you’ve made contact with them then?’ Agami stood up ‘What have you learned from them? Do you know why they are searching for Atense-san?’

A little scared, Reina replied ‘No, I… I don’t know. They were just customers… I don't remember much.’


‘Fucking hell. I need to bring you in.’ Agami grabbed his huge coat ‘Come with me. You’ll be back soon. Even if you don’t remember, we can make you’

‘What? No, I… I need to take care of the distillery. I’m sorry but I can’t go’ Reina reached for the emergency kunai under the counter to defend herself.

‘It’ll be fine, taking a break once in a while won’t close down your business’ Agami reached for Reina’s arm, but noticed the kunai in her hand. His expression turned sinister. Raising the kunai in defense, Reina prepared for a brawl. 'How am i going to get out of this?' she thought.

Backing off, Agami softly started whistling along to the tune playing on the radio. Reina heard the most beautiful sound. What was this? She had heard the tune a million times, but what was it that made his whistling so beautiful?

‘How?’

 She whispered as she lost consciousness.



Kiroshi

Kiroshi was seated next to three girls at his brother’s side. The Bar was bustling with sounds of laughter and drinking. Kiroshi was not a fan of all the noise, but had to be accompanying his brother.

Girls on both sides, a table full of beer and music from a corner. What more could a guy ask for?

‘A lot more’ he thought.

‘He sure is taking his own sweet time. You think he’s out there trying to put the moves on that chick?’ Kinsho yelled.

‘I can hear you fine when you’re not yelling.' Kiroshi replied, annoyed. 'He probably is. I don’t reckon he’s going to have an experience better than last time, I should probably go check on him.’

'Yeah, save his ass from that tiny chick'

Kiroshi finally had an excuse to escape these girls and the noise.

As he walked out, Kiroshi notice that the sun was shining especially bright today. He pulled his sunglasses over his eyes,and adjusted his dark wavy hair. The culinary district was quite a walk and Krioshi was too lazy to go and check up on Agami. He jumped up over to the roof of the building opposite to the bar to enjoy the nice weather. After admiring the warm surroundings,  Kiroshi looked down upon the people walking around going on with their daily routines.

Kiroshi’s attention was caught by Agami walking to the bar with the girl from yesterday. ‘Wow. Looks like he scored.’ He thought to himself. But Kiroshi noticed something amiss. The girl was walking too mechanically. The sly bastard had used his Genjutsu to bring the girl. This meant she wasn’t willing to show up.

They had received information about a rumor flying around that Shirobi Atense was in the culinary district. It was mere coincidence that they were there on time to stop the Kimai thugs. The only reason Agami wanted to return to that place was to take care of any collateral damage. Why had he brought the girl here?

She has to know something. Agami was probably too much of a pussy to get the memories. Kiroshi smiled in delight. He was going to have to take the girl to Gebai.

It had been a long time since they had met. Kiroshi had the fondest memories of Gebai. The man was a marvel. His work was art itself.
Kiroshi wasn't fond of extraction, but the way Gebai works his magic intrigued him.

'Finally... It has been too long' he thought out loud.



Kouzen


Kouzen felt a devastation he had never felt before. Yaa-chan was dead and his death wasn’t a quick one. It was painful and ugly. This wasn’t the aftermath of a fight, it was of a murder. A cold blooded murder. It was clear Yaa-chan was no match to his opponents. This scared Kouzen. He had personally never beaten Yaa-chan even once, revenge was not an option. Not a revenge that’d let him treat the murder the same anyway. What was he to do? He couldn’t possibly tell Yaa-chan’s parents he was out with a girl when their precious son was getting stabbed in the eye.

Kouzen noticed something when he saw into Yaa-chan’s life less eyes. His left eye was burned with a cigarette, this was a sight he had grown accustomed to. Kouzen felt devastated no longer. His anger had engulfed him.
 
‘Agami’ he thought out loud.

‘Where did you send them?’ He said to no one specific.

‘The culinary district. We don’t know how they knew we were going to be there, but…’

Kouzen didn’t need to hear any more. He knew all the answers and had confirmed his suspicions. Kouzen was on his feet.

‘Those who want to, can join me’ he announced as he left, picking up a kunai from the table.

‘There will be collateral damage’ he whispered with a dangerous look on his face.



--The End--
« Last Edit: April 06, 2017, 16:17:40 by adithya »

Offline Toratsume Nyshn

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    Glory to the Black Rose
Re: The Agni Saga- Part II
« Reply #12 on: April 05, 2017, 17:02:26 »
aye... the writing is gripping...
still confused or rather the mystery is still running high in the story..
Nevertheless, the climax makes me eager for more :)
probably next chapter will clear more air




Offline StriderOtaku

Re: The Agni Saga- Part II
« Reply #13 on: April 07, 2017, 08:42:58 »
This feels like the build up to some epic climax. The story telling is great.
 There are still a lot of unanswered questions tho (what exactly do they want from Reina? Who is this Gebai fellow? And Why is everyone's story revolving around Atensei?).
It's interesting enough to keep anyone captivated. Good job.
  • Character Name: Ikiryo

Offline adithya

Re: The Agni Saga- Part II
« Reply #14 on: April 07, 2017, 15:12:14 »
aye... the writing is gripping...
still confused or rather the mystery is still running high in the story..
Nevertheless, the climax makes me eager for more :)
probably next chapter will clear more air

Yeah. You can count on that ;)


This feels like the build up to some epic climax. The story telling is great.
 There are still a lot of unanswered questions tho (what exactly do they want from Reina? Who is this Gebai fellow? And Why is everyone's story revolving around Atensei?).
It's interesting enough to keep anyone captivated. Good job.

Ha. Thanks xD yeah. Dw we'll get there eventually