Important News

We have released Shinobi Life Online Pre-Alpha Version 1.1.0.0! This update features Earth Release: Earth Dome Jutsu, Aiming Mode and more! Try it out and tell us what you think.

User

Welcome, Guest.
Please login or register.
 
 
 
Forgot your password?

Statistics

Members
Total Members: 33942
Latest: Externil
New This Month: 941
New This Week: 214
New Today: 33
Stats
Total Posts: 54287
Total Topics: 3095
Most Online Today: 328
Most Online Ever: 440
(June 02, 2016, 00:34:37)
Users Online
Members: 12
Guests: 241
Total: 276

Author Topic: Hiruko Kaze  (Read 1707 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Hiruko

  • Chunin Poster
  • ***
  • Posts: 145
  • Reputation Power: 2
  • Hiruko has no influence.
  • Gender: Male
  • Follow the wind!
    • View Profile
  • Clan: Kaze
  • Organization: Katakiuchi
Re: Hiruko
« Reply #30 on: April 11, 2017, 12:02:15 »
Well, da furst ting to say would be to obviously proofread

3rd sentence;

"Due his injury, Hiruko’s father couldn’t do anything helpful, that means his mother did everything in the household"

Due TO his injury....that meanT his mother did everything in/for the household
Thank you, masta! (english isnt my first language and I suck in english tbh) I'll correct it



Offline Hiruko

  • Chunin Poster
  • ***
  • Posts: 145
  • Reputation Power: 2
  • Hiruko has no influence.
  • Gender: Male
  • Follow the wind!
    • View Profile
  • Clan: Kaze
  • Organization: Katakiuchi
Re: Hiruko
« Reply #31 on: April 12, 2017, 10:21:06 »
Life before Academy Chapter is out!

again, please give me constructive criticism, Thank you! :P



Offline Manuster

Re: Hiruko
« Reply #32 on: April 12, 2017, 15:19:23 »
weeeew

ik english aint your first language now but grammars still the biggest issue

and murder? cause of some bullies seems a bit.....wew >.> <.<

besides that tho its not bad

By Rapho


By Rapho


By Artemis


By Snoopy



Offline Hiruko

  • Chunin Poster
  • ***
  • Posts: 145
  • Reputation Power: 2
  • Hiruko has no influence.
  • Gender: Male
  • Follow the wind!
    • View Profile
  • Clan: Kaze
  • Organization: Katakiuchi
Re: Hiruko
« Reply #33 on: April 12, 2017, 15:23:51 »
weeeew

ik english aint your first language now but grammars still the biggest issue

and murder? cause of some bullies seems a bit.....wew >.> <.<

besides that tho its not bad
The murder thing is coming to be a big plot twist later :P And I know grammar is a big issue, my grammar sucks. I'll be ok, as long as everyone understands it



Offline Tsunayoshi

  • Chunin Donator
  • Jonin Poster
  • **
  • Posts: 556
  • Reputation Power: 3
  • Tsunayoshi has no influence.
  • Gender: Male
  • -Join the Vongola yoho
    • View Profile
  • Clan: Kaiyō
  • Organization: Vongola
Re: Hiruko
« Reply #34 on: April 12, 2017, 22:19:58 »
It's really good
  • Character Name: Tsunayoshi Kaiyo


Offline AbeMelbs

  • Genin Poster
  • **
  • Posts: 80
  • Reputation Power: 2
  • AbeMelbs has no influence.
  • Gender: Male
  • Leader of The Creed
    • View Profile
    • Youtube - Vongola SLO
  • Clan:
    Code: [Select]
    [url=www.shinobilifeonline.com/index.php?topic=3186.0][img]i.imgur.com/NWnjp2v.png?1[/img][/url]
  • Organization: The Creed
Re: Hiruko
« Reply #35 on: April 12, 2017, 22:33:45 »
Awesome dude, gj. You included me well ;)
  • Character Name: Kyuzaki
The Angel of Death spread his wings in the blast. And breath'd in the face of his foe as he pass'd.



View My Video



My Character Page

Offline Hiruko

  • Chunin Poster
  • ***
  • Posts: 145
  • Reputation Power: 2
  • Hiruko has no influence.
  • Gender: Male
  • Follow the wind!
    • View Profile
  • Clan: Kaze
  • Organization: Katakiuchi
Re: Hiruko
« Reply #36 on: April 13, 2017, 07:59:27 »
It's really good
Thank youu!!
Awesome dude, gj. You included me well ;)
Thank you ^^



Offline Hiruko

  • Chunin Poster
  • ***
  • Posts: 145
  • Reputation Power: 2
  • Hiruko has no influence.
  • Gender: Male
  • Follow the wind!
    • View Profile
  • Clan: Kaze
  • Organization: Katakiuchi
Re: Hiruko
« Reply #37 on: April 13, 2017, 11:21:37 »
Life in Academy chapter is out!

Again, I beg for constructive criticism!



Offline Hiruko

  • Chunin Poster
  • ***
  • Posts: 145
  • Reputation Power: 2
  • Hiruko has no influence.
  • Gender: Male
  • Follow the wind!
    • View Profile
  • Clan: Kaze
  • Organization: Katakiuchi
Re: Hiruko Kaze
« Reply #38 on: July 17, 2017, 09:27:01 »
Chapter 4

(So, I was inactive for a while now, but now I have the urge again to continue this, please give me constructive criticism if you find any mistakes! Thank you!)


Many, many days have passed like this. Hiruko and his class were at the training fields and they trained Taijutsu, Shurikenjutsu, Ninjutsu, and physical chakra training. Although they got homework, practical worksheets. Hiruko was very smart, his IQ was probably more over than average.

Every day after academy, Hiruko went to a lonely place in the village and trained his strange black thing there. He formed black wind balls on his fingers and literally snapped them to the ground. They had a tiny explosion, like firecrackers. Due to the practical chakra training and the worksheets for home, he knew how to train this special black wind thing. On a lot of days, weird professors were literally stalking him. They wrote notes on a paper and such, but Hiruko didn’t really care about that.

At the evening before the genin exam, he walked to the orphanage. He was exhausted like every evening when he came back home. But he saw a little girl standing in front of the orphanage, it was Ayumi!.
“Ehm… I..I.. knit that for…. You.” She said very very shyly.
She was holding a scarf in her hand, a quite long scarf to be honest.
“I knit that, for tomorrow! I hope…. You get genin..” She said with a smile this time.

Hiruko crouched down and pet her head.
“Thank you, Ayumi. I will take care of it.” He said with a bright smile.
Normally Hiruko is very cold and hateful, but this time he just couldn’t resist to smile.
As he walked in with Ayumi, he saw Kyu talking with Kaa-chan. They discussed a lot, mostly every evening. Kyu came from a hunting clan here in the snow, the Kamakiri. But his Father died and he never really knew his mother. Kyu was hunting a lot, but Kaa-chan didn’t allowed that. So Kyu was very pissed at her.

Hiruko crouched down and whispered into Ayumi’s ear,
“Go to your room, don’t worry, they are always like that.” He said, knowing that Ayumi was scared about that.

Ayumi walked upstairs to her room and Hiruko just walked past Kaa-chan and Kyu, with his eyes closed and his hands in his pockets. As he walked past them he said something,
“Kaa-chan, I hope you know what you did to me.”
He said, meaning the black wind things. Hiruko knew that she implanted him the black chakra. But he didn’t knew that it was chakra, and that it was a forbidden and powerful chakra.

After that, Kaa-chan stopped talking with Kyu and her eyes got wide open.
“Sorry Hiruko, I won’t talk with you about that.” She said with a smile, she acted like nothing happened, because Kyu probably didn’t hear what Hiruko said.
“Go up to your room, Hiruko and Kyu.” She said, with a pissed smile on her face.
Hiruko and Kyu walked upstairs to their room.

“Yo, Hiruko. I will probably go away soon. I’m going to a organization, called Vongola. But don’t ever tell that Kaa-chan!” He said

“Don’t worry, I’ll stay here one more year and then I’ll go too. Probably we will meet somewhere, am I right?” He said with a smile. And walked to his bed, laying down in his bed.

“But when we meet somewhere, we need to fight, ok? I want to know how strong you are then!” He said. Laying down in his bed too.

“Yes, yes. We’ll fight if we meet.” He said with a cold voice



Offline AbeMelbs

  • Genin Poster
  • **
  • Posts: 80
  • Reputation Power: 2
  • AbeMelbs has no influence.
  • Gender: Male
  • Leader of The Creed
    • View Profile
    • Youtube - Vongola SLO
  • Clan:
    Code: [Select]
    [url=www.shinobilifeonline.com/index.php?topic=3186.0][img]i.imgur.com/NWnjp2v.png?1[/img][/url]
  • Organization: The Creed
Re: Hiruko Kaze
« Reply #39 on: July 17, 2017, 11:06:06 »
Nicely done, good job bro. I like how you implemented our stories! :)
  • Character Name: Kyuzaki
The Angel of Death spread his wings in the blast. And breath'd in the face of his foe as he pass'd.



View My Video



My Character Page

Offline Hiruko

  • Chunin Poster
  • ***
  • Posts: 145
  • Reputation Power: 2
  • Hiruko has no influence.
  • Gender: Male
  • Follow the wind!
    • View Profile
  • Clan: Kaze
  • Organization: Katakiuchi
Re: Hiruko Kaze
« Reply #40 on: July 17, 2017, 11:20:17 »
Nicely done, good job bro. I like how you implemented our stories! :)
Thank you fam.



 

Recent Topics

Jutsu Creation Topic by Nobito
Today at 17:22:47

3D OC Pictures by NinjaMirage
Today at 12:21:20

help me please!!! Mistake that I imagine many have!! by LethalDarkness4
Today at 08:01:39

Stuck in the wall glitch. Game breaking! by Suroshi
Today at 03:51:20

SLO 1.1.0.4 (Update) Thoughts and Opinions by LethalDarkness4
July 26, 2017, 22:27:04

Diaries of Fear - Arc 1 by Alanok
July 26, 2017, 13:51:23

Offensive Abilities For Medical Ninja? by NinjaMirage
July 26, 2017, 00:28:21

A wild Ara appeared! by Blazefp
July 24, 2017, 23:44:22

The most prepared man alive. by Suroshi
July 24, 2017, 21:38:29

Kakashi's Models by |Sean|
July 24, 2017, 05:14:56

Top Posters

Reminance
Posts: 2219
Shivraj
Posts: 1596
m4r1us
Posts: 1298
Manuster
Posts: 1182
taigakun
Posts: 1100
Nova
Posts: 1088
Snoopy
Posts: 1070
Konohuro
Posts: 1054
NinjaMirage
Posts: 984
Vreg
Posts: 971