Shinobi Life Online

General Category => General Discussion => Topic started by: Fraudulent on February 12, 2017, 15:50:16

Title: The Art of Blowjobs
Post by: Fraudulent on February 12, 2017, 15:50:16
The Art of Blowjobs

Warning: Mature audiences only

Blowjobs are a work of art. They can be creative, innovative and genuinely a great experience for both partners. However at the same time they can be disappointing and painful.

Before asking your partner if they are interested in engaging in such activities with you, it’s always good to ask whether they are okay with the amount of hair that surrounds your cannon. I would personally advise you shave the shaft, sac, and trim the surrounding area. A neat trim is nice and wouldn’t require you to be completely bald around that region, not only will it look bad, but your hair will regrow even quicker and thicker if you decide to go all out. Most partners are okay with a mowed lawn around the post, a-lot of them are also repulsed if you have a bush.

A few hours before you meet up with your partner to undergo such operations, you must cleanse that area… cleanse it well. Take a shower in-fact. Make sure you polish the cannon with the freshest shower gel you have. I highly recommend ‘Head & Shoulders Mint’ as it is really minty, even if it’s a shampoo. You may feel slight burning and uncomfortable sensations for a few minutes but can last up to an hour… It’s all worth it though. Your partner will be satisfied and so will you.

It is very important that your partner is comfortable with what they are about to do. Do not pressure them or put them in a state of hurry – let them take their time when handling your genitals. You can even have a friendly conversation whilst they wield your sword in their hand(has happened to me lool).

NEVER push them towards your area because unless they have no respect for themselves, they will immediately cease operation and give you a hefty slap and probably not talk to you for the rest of the day. The only times pressing your partner towards your groin area is acceptable is either if they are a prostitute and paid to do this, or they are extremely horny and lack respect for themselves.

When receiving a blowjob and it’s your partner’s first time, do not be fooled by what you’ve seen on Pornhub where they press their heads down forcing a gag. Always keep in mind that your partner is NOT a pornstar (or who knows? Maybe you are dating a pornstar… you lucky dog!) and they are bound to have a bad time dealing with the gagging until they get used to it.

If this is your first time experiencing the art of ‘succ’, then you will be disappointed if you expect the same things as you’ve seen on the computer. The actors in those scenes appear to enjoy it greatly but you really don’t actually know what they feel.

Once her cave has been entered, you are bound to feel a bit of teeth at the beginning – this is completely normal and a lot of people have experienced this. You are also prone to feel the top of his/her mouth… you know, the little sickle-shaped holes near your teeth. Surprisingly enough it’s rather hard to distinguish between tongue and other parts.

If your partner is unexperienced then they will most likely stay to the standard ‘up and down’. Google is your friend if you’re confused. This is completely fine, but you may be disappointed because it will be very hard for you to climax, especially if your partner proceeds at a slow pace; however do not blame your partner, consider yourself lucky she’s even putting that thing in her mouth. If you want a varied experience, I would highly recommend you give them useful websites where they can learn techniques (personal method of mine). It is also a good idea to direct your partner whilst they’re at it, giving them basic suggestions like: “Go faster”, “Use the tongue more” or “Use your hand at the same time”. But of-course your experience will become more pleasant as your partner gains experience through practice.

After you’ve established that your partner will perform ‘the great succ’ on you, you have to ask whether they spit or swallow. Most people who are unexperienced and slightly uncomfortable with your blaster will say spit… because who wants to swallow your magic? On the other hand; your partner may be more open and comfortable and swallow your babies. Both are completely fine.

If you manage to release your kids whilst she’s blowing, then congratulations; you’re weak and have premature ejaculation.. nah I’m joking. But well done. There are however people (champions) who struggle to climax from sucking so they have to either get their partner or themselves to use their hands in a rapid motion to speed up the climax in order to spread magic into the world. Either one is fine, and I hope you don’t feel patronised if you climax just from succ loool.

Welp. If she swallows then you don’t have anything to clean up. If she chose to spit… then I’m sorry. But hey, in the end you got the succ!

After you are finished, she may decide to continue - this will bring a lot of pain upon you. I highly advise you tell your partner to stop. If they refuse to stop, then they genuinely want you to feel pain. Sorry bro.



Title: Re: The Art of Blowjobs
Post by: adithya on February 12, 2017, 16:12:44
@Snoopy... you have outdone every single post made on this website. I can say that I thoroughly enjoyed reading your post (every single word) and probably will take your advice and follow the steps mentioned in the post should the day where my "cannon" gets "succ" ever 'come'  ;)

BUT LMAO MAN WTFF XD
Title: Re: The Art of Blowjobs
Post by: Fraudulent on February 12, 2017, 16:35:50
@Snoopy... you have outdone every single post made on this website. I can say that I thoroughly enjoyed reading your post (every single word) and probably will take your advice and follow the steps mentioned in the post should the day where my "cannon" gets "succ" ever 'come'  ;)

BUT LMAO MAN WTFF XD
I'm glad you enjoyed my work. If I get sufficient support with these, I may write a sequel and trilogy on 'The Art of Breasts' and 'The Art of Vaginas'.

You seem surprised, but to me this seems like a completely normal thing to do - and the idea came to me last night before I went to sleep, lol. I showed a preview to a real life friend of mine before publishing... he claims that I'm on crack.
Title: Re: The Art of Blowjobs
Post by: adithya on February 12, 2017, 16:41:23
@Snoopy... you have outdone every single post made on this website. I can say that I thoroughly enjoyed reading your post (every single word) and probably will take your advice and follow the steps mentioned in the post should the day where my "cannon" gets "succ" ever 'come'  ;)

BUT LMAO MAN WTFF XD
I'm glad you enjoyed my work. If I get sufficient support with these, I may write a sequel and trilogy on 'The Art of Breasts' and 'The Art of Vaginas'.

You seem surprised, but to me this seems like a completely normal thing to do - and the idea came to me last night before I went to sleep, lol. I showed a preview to a real life friend of mine before publishing... he claims that I'm on crack.

huh. I thought it was shrooms. but whatever. I hope you dodo a sequel xD
Title: Re: The Art of Blowjobs
Post by: NinjaMirage on February 12, 2017, 16:59:03
Be carful though... your walking a fine line of what is appropriate for some members. But well done and very throw.
Title: Re: The Art of Blowjobs
Post by: CaioDarT on February 12, 2017, 17:05:58
This is some deep stuff xD i highly recommend the lecture of this for people that think that life is like a porn video.
(btw most people here is higly under age like 11-14 so idk if here is the best place to talk about this)
Title: Re: The Art of Blowjobs
Post by: Fraudulent on February 12, 2017, 17:24:59
This is some deep stuff xD i highly recommend the lecture of this for people that think that life is like a porn video.
(btw most people here is higly under age like 11-14 so idk if here is the best place to talk about this)

Be carful though... your walking a fine line of what is appropriate for some members. But well done and very throw.

Thank you, but I feel like I've encrypted my messages well enough in order for younger members to not catch on.
Title: Re: The Art of Blowjobs
Post by: CaioDarT on February 12, 2017, 17:28:20
This is some deep stuff xD i highly recommend the lecture of this for people that think that life is like a porn video.
(btw most people here is higly under age like 11-14 so idk if here is the best place to talk about this)

Be carful though... your walking a fine line of what is appropriate for some members. But well done and very throw.

Thank you, but I feel like I've encrypted my messages well enough in order for younger members to not catch on.
Forgetting about that age stuff. Snoopy you're a really good writer keep going man!
Title: Re: The Art of Blowjobs
Post by: Kazmaru on February 12, 2017, 17:49:50
Butt.... why?
Title: Re: The Art of Blowjobs
Post by: JukeBlook on February 12, 2017, 18:41:47
Snoopy

(http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/183/604/ee9.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/fhHuvIP.jpg)
Title: Re: The Art of Blowjobs
Post by: mamita on February 12, 2017, 18:57:57
This is... Unique to say the least.

I actually do appreciate the sharing of advice in regards to this.
Already had the feeling a bush might not be the most comfortable
thing to stick your face in. Washing it goes without question, of course.

Also: You just made yourself legendary if Vreg doesn't delete this.
I'll be watching for the sequel.
Title: Re: The Art of Blowjobs
Post by: Manuster on February 12, 2017, 19:58:45
@Snoopy... you have outdone every single post made on this website.
This.

Idc if this is a shitpost.

This thread will go down in history.

As girls go down on me.

Title: Re: The Art of Blowjobs
Post by: Fraudulent on February 12, 2017, 21:02:46
Forgetting about that age stuff. Snoopy you're a really good writer keep going man!
Thank you! This was more of a guide rather than a meaningful piece of writing.

Butt.... why?
Don't worry... We'll get to the butts soon ;)

This is... Unique to say the least.

I actually do appreciate the sharing of advice in regards to this.
Already had the feeling a bush might not be the most comfortable
thing to stick your face in. Washing it goes without question, of course.

Also: You just made yourself legendary if Vreg doesn't delete this.
I'll be watching for the sequel.
I'm glad my advice helped you. Thought it'd be interesting for inexperienced people to realize that real life is not the same as what you see on those websites, haha. There isn't much of a reason to delete the thread really. The messages have been encrypted. I may be doing a sequel.

@Snoopy... you have outdone every single post made on this website.
This.

Idc if this is a shitpost.

This thread will go down in history.

As girls go down on me.

You actually failed to quote the post properly. Make sure to fix that if you care enough.
"Outdone every post on this website", I did expect a varied response from the community, but would you go as far as to say I've outdone every other post?

Dw about it. It's never a shitpost if it praises me ;)
Title: Re: The Art of Blowjobs
Post by: Reminance on February 12, 2017, 21:21:51
Quite an interesting read, you've outdone yourself ^^
Title: Re: The Art of Blowjobs
Post by: Mars on February 12, 2017, 21:26:54
(btw most people here is higly under age like 11-14 so idk if here is the best place to talk about this)
tbf most of the active community is age 15 and above
Title: Re: The Art of Blowjobs
Post by: CaioDarT on February 12, 2017, 21:28:12
(btw most people here is higly under age like 11-14 so idk if here is the best place to talk about this)
tbf most of the active community is age 15 and above
aw I thought it was less, sorry
Title: Re: The Art of Blowjobs
Post by: LethalDarkness4 on February 12, 2017, 21:30:16
I absolutely fucking enjoyed this ty for the laughs I read it out over skype to @RyanFlashfire  and I think he also enjoyed the succ especially since he always says to "gimme da succ"
Title: Re: The Art of Blowjobs
Post by: RyRy on February 12, 2017, 21:30:38
can i have the suck?
Title: Re: The Art of Blowjobs
Post by: Fraudulent on February 12, 2017, 21:38:32
I absolutely fucking enjoyed this ty for the laughs I read it out over skype to @RyanFlashfire  and I think he also enjoyed the succ especially since he always says to "gimme da succ"
Glad I awakened the humor receptors in your brain. I didn't actually intend on making it a funny post but things just came together naturally and I suppose I created an enjoyable thread which some say can be revolutionary and I'm now considered a legend? (insert thinking emoji)

can i have the suck?
If you slide my gentle feminine hand towards your pants and tell me "We don't have a lot of time, let's get it out of the way", then I will ask you to look away as I slowly move towards your genital area and begin the succ. Then yes.

Quite an interesting read, you've outdone yourself ^^
I don't think I have... just yet. But I appreciate the feedback :)
Title: Re: The Art of Blowjobs
Post by: taigakun on February 12, 2017, 21:45:32
You know, one would expect a thread like this to be a troll thread but it actually isnt lul.
And it is written so fucking well
Hats off for Snoppy
Title: Re: The Art of Blowjobs
Post by: akicakenjac on February 12, 2017, 21:47:46
Good read now I must get a good succ
Title: Re: The Art of Blowjobs
Post by: Fraudulent on February 12, 2017, 21:51:37
Good read now I must get a good succ
Apparently my disclaimer failed to do it's job.

You know, one would expect a thread like this to be a troll thread but it actually isnt lul.
And it is written so fucking well
Hats off for Snoppy
Fun fact; It is very rare to catch me clogging the forum with trolling, but I see where you're coming from when you pointed that out.

Written well? Eh,it did need some adjustments here and there. But thank you :)
Title: Re: The Art of Blowjobs
Post by: RyRy on February 12, 2017, 22:19:58
I can gladly meet those conditions @Snoopy
Title: Re: The Art of Blowjobs
Post by: Diamond Lee on February 12, 2017, 23:22:46
What a fucking legendary article. One thing tho: about the hairs growing faster thing: I believe that is a myth, and that in reality the hairs grow back at a normal speed. However, if you grew your first mustache slowly, let's say in two months, and then you shave it, it will come back in a short amount of time but that is due to the fact that the facial hair switch is now "on" whereas before it was "off" when you didn't have a mustache.

tmw when u write something that dosnt mak sence lolz


pls - rep me if I'm wrong
Title: Re: The Art of Blowjobs
Post by: Ken on February 13, 2017, 01:24:22
(http://img.pandawhale.com/post-29155-Blink-182-WHAT-THE-FUCK-gif-Im-YEwO.gif)
Title: Re: The Art of Blowjobs
Post by: Diamond Lee on February 13, 2017, 02:58:23
"Whip out your Roosevelt"


this is too much for me I'm dying
Title: Re: The Art of Blowjobs
Post by: AY0 on February 13, 2017, 03:50:33
Aye Boi I Feel U! 🔥 🔥 🔥 💯
Title: Re: The Art of Blowjobs
Post by: StriderOtaku on February 13, 2017, 16:08:49
You know, one day, when i'm old and dying, i'll remember the days i spent on a forum for computer ninjas and the legendary sannin that made a blowjob thread on the ninja forum will remain in my memories forever..fondly.
@Snoopy this is the post with which you transcended humanity. Well done sir.

Spoiler: show
free succs for everyone
Title: Re: The Art of Blowjobs
Post by: Fraudulent on February 13, 2017, 19:13:06
What a fucking legendary article. One thing tho: about the hairs growing faster thing: I believe that is a myth, and that in reality the hairs grow back at a normal speed. However, if you grew your first mustache slowly, let's say in two months, and then you shave it, it will come back in a short amount of time but that is due to the fact that the facial hair switch is now "on" whereas before it was "off" when you didn't have a mustache.

tmw when u write something that dosnt mak sence lolz


pls - rep me if I'm wrong
Thank you, and I didn't really put much thought and scientific evidence to back my statement. It's just something I've been brought up to believe. Unfortunately it's unreliable because I'm not 100% sure myself about the hair growth thing.

(http://img.pandawhale.com/post-29155-Blink-182-WHAT-THE-FUCK-gif-Im-YEwO.gif)
Thank you?

Aye Boi I Feel U! 🔥 🔥 🔥 💯
Do you?

You know, one day, when i'm old and dying, i'll remember the days i spent on a forum for computer ninjas and the legendary sannin that made a blowjob thread on the ninja forum will remain in my memories forever..fondly.
@Snoopy this is the post with which you transcended humanity. Well done sir.

Spoiler: show
free succs for everyone

I've already transcended... it's time for these plebs on SLO to wake up and follow in my footsteps.
Title: Re: The Art of Blowjobs
Post by: Toratsume Nyshn on February 14, 2017, 04:32:19
what just happened :3
BEGINNERS' GUIDE ON HOW TO MAKE LOVE (Male Version) Part-1: Art of Blowjob
This blew me!
aand...
I'm glad you enjoyed my work. If I get sufficient support with these, I may write a sequel and trilogy on 'The Art of Breasts' and 'The Art of Vaginas'.
(http://i.imgur.com/J69Ph7i.png)
Title: Re: The Art of Blowjobs
Post by: lollernoob9 on February 14, 2017, 08:11:32
I suppose it would not include other parts of technique :P  This post is good word but wierd lol. Seems a bit much to assume what things mean your attendant has no self respect tho...
Title: Re: The Art of Blowjobs
Post by: Fraudulent on February 14, 2017, 11:18:42
I suppose it would not include other parts of technique :P  This post is good word but wierd lol. Seems a bit much to assume what things mean your attendant has no self respect tho...
I had the intentions of writing a couple more articles on these things, but ultimately I think I've called it off. The topic was hot on the forum for a few days but the flame gradually died out and now I don't have the motivation to continue writing these, lol. I may choose to resume this someday, but not anytime soon.

Yeah; about the self respect thing... I don't think I've worded it properly, and no matter how many times I've read over that section, there's still something wrong with that. Please ignore it and you shouldn't think much of it.
Title: Re: The Art of Blowjobs
Post by: Tsunayoshi on February 14, 2017, 16:48:23
You've really outdone yourself, even though you wrote about sucking cocks, none the less, you have outdone yourself, Snoop.

Title: Re: The Art of Blowjobs
Post by: Fraudulent on February 14, 2017, 20:02:48
You've really outdone yourself, even though you wrote about sucking cocks, none the less, you have outdone yourself, Snoop.
There's nothing wrong with writing about oral pleasure. But thank you, I hope you enjoyed the read.
Title: Re: The Art of Blowjobs
Post by: taigakun on February 14, 2017, 22:52:47
Its yer boy Snoop. Back at it again with zem quality ass posts :p

Nah but gjgjgjgj Snoppy
Title: Re: The Art of Blowjobs
Post by: Fraudulent on February 14, 2017, 23:47:56
Its yer boy Snoop. Back at it again with zem quality ass posts :p

Nah but gjgjgjgj Snoppy
Thaank you!
Title: Re: The Art of Blowjobs
Post by: IbrahimRafi on February 25, 2017, 23:34:22
This forum is going in my "research" folder. Jks
Title: Re: The Art of Blowjobs
Post by: animeoveraddict on May 19, 2017, 15:13:40
@Snoopy... you have outdone every single post made on this website.

Yes @Snoopy has, I can agree very much. XD This was a great guide. Do as many sequels as you can think of. XD
Title: Re: The Art of Blowjobs
Post by: sirpaul on May 19, 2017, 16:38:56
dat moment when someone edo tensei's an old thread
Title: Re: The Art of Blowjobs
Post by: StriderOtaku on May 19, 2017, 17:07:14
dat moment when someone edo tensei's an old thread
Tbh, this is the first thing you've said or done I actually find funny. Plus Repped.
EDIT: The forum's not letting me rep you.
Title: Re: The Art of Blowjobs
Post by: sirpaul on May 19, 2017, 17:21:44
dat moment when someone edo tensei's an old thread
Tbh, this is the first thing you've said or done I actually find funny. Plus Repped.
EDIT: The forum's not letting me rep you.
its sad, cuz snoopy said it first in discord, and i just took his what he said and posted it here...
Title: Re: The Art of Blowjobs
Post by: Fraudulent on May 21, 2017, 20:35:27
@Snoopy... you have outdone every single post made on this website.

Yes @Snoopy has, I can agree very much. XD This was a great guide. Do as many sequels as you can think of. XD

I have come to accept that I won't be making any more guides after "The Art of Ass" (Available on the forum if you use the search function properly). My activity rate on here and on Discord has drastically declined because I'm in exam season, plus I've lost interest in writing these guides.

I'm busy with life really, so I won't be able to dedicate as much time to SLO as you'd expect. Who knows, I may even be leaving the community in a few months, or go on hiatus whilst I get my life together.
Title: Re: The Art of Blowjobs
Post by: Reminance on May 21, 2017, 21:01:46
@Snoopy... you have outdone every single post made on this website.

Yes @Snoopy has, I can agree very much. XD This was a great guide. Do as many sequels as you can think of. XD

I have come to accept that I won't be making any more guides after "The Art of Ass" (Available on the forum if you use the search function properly). My activity rate on here and on Discord has drastically declined because I'm in exam season, plus I've lost interest in writing these guides.

I'm busy with life really, so I won't be able to dedicate as much time to SLO as you'd expect. Who knows, I may even be leaving the community in a few months, or go on hiatus whilst I get my life together.
Getting your shit together isn't a bad idea, i'm in the middle :p
Title: Re: The Art of Blowjobs
Post by: NinjaMirage on May 21, 2017, 22:25:34
I can't believe these  have gone on as long as they have!!