Shinobi Life Online

General Category => General Discussion => Topic started by: Fraudulent on March 20, 2017, 19:15:00

Title: Chapter 4 - The Healer
Post by: Fraudulent on March 20, 2017, 19:15:00
“Shouldn’t be too long now”
“The healing is taking place slowly but surely” an unfamiliar voice broke out; it was soft, young and tender.
Vizier grunted in acknowledgement and relief.

A soft wind blew across the field and through the hill which Nibui was being operated on. The night-sky was fresh and rich with stars.
“What are the chances he’ll make it?” Vizier asked with concern.

He paused for a second and tilted his head slightly towards him.
“Given the circumstances that his chest was burned, damaging vital organs such as the heart and lungs… around thirty-three percent” the soft voice replied before readjusting his focus on the leader of Blackbox who happened to be half-dead.

Vizier was impressed by the skill displayed before him.
“You look young… and it amazes me how well you work… - I’ve seen shinobi who specialize in medical ninjutsu struggle with these sort of operations”

“I’m 19, sir, and I’m flattered by your appraisal”
The boy had messy brown hair and was covered in a black cloak of silk. The blue healing rays reflected into his black eyes.

The evening strolled along and a dozen winds went by before another word was spoken.
The glow in his hands ceased and the medic raised himself.
“That’s as much as I can do…; he has been bandaged up around the torso and I’ve regrown his organ tissue”
“Now only time can tell if the operation was successful”

Vizier raised his head, sorrow had overtaken him but he didn’t show it – he couldn’t, even in this situation.
“I understand… I uh… I appreciate everything you have done”

The youthful healer swung his leather bag full with equipment around his head and steadied it onto his body.
“Don’t worry about it, I help people around the Dust free-of-charge… even criminals”
Vizier couldn’t help but strike a faint smile.

The cloaked shinobi had already turned around in preparation to depart but stopped to the sound of Vizier’s aged voice once more.

“You’re a good man”

He paused and tilted his head for the second time.
“I’m Izumi” he informed the elder before resuming his walk down the hill into the darkness.

Vizier was downcast and in grief from the constant worry for Nibui.
“I tried”
“I tried to protect you”
He glanced over at the body once more before setting off into the fields in search of flowers and a plank of wood with enough space for carvings.

Vizier was constantly haunted by the success rate of the operation. “Thirty-three percent” was the only thing going through his mind, and it was on repeat.

It wasn’t long before he returned with a batch of flowers and a plank in the other hand.

Vizier was paralyzed on the spot and dropped everything he held to the sight of Nibui sitting in a cross-legged position, spinning a kunai on his finger.

“Bumbaclart… let’s head home” a grin took over Nibui’s face as his eyes sharpened.

Vizier clenched a fist and slowly shook his head against it in disbelief.
“Fucking idiot” he couldn’t help but let off a light chuckle out of relief.






Title: Re: Chapter 4 - The Healer
Post by: AY0 on March 20, 2017, 19:23:03
More!
Title: Re: Chapter 4 - The Healer
Post by: JukeBlook on March 20, 2017, 19:23:43
i cri
Title: Re: Chapter 4 - The Healer
Post by: CaioDarT on March 20, 2017, 19:57:37
Bumbaclart xD nice chapter!
It's nice to see forum members on the stories. Gg Izumi for saving Nibui life
Title: Re: Chapter 4 - The Healer
Post by: Fraudulent on March 20, 2017, 20:09:07
More!
Patience, young mantis!

i cri
Have some tissues, friend.

Bumbaclart xD nice chapter!
It's nice to see forum members on the stories. Gg Izumi for saving Nibui life

Thank you! And it was actually a coincidence that Izumi (@Rapho) was a Dust shinobi, haha. It was a perfect opportunity for me.
Title: Re: Chapter 4 - The Healer
Post by: Rapho on March 20, 2017, 21:12:31
Great job on this chapter, @Snoopy

You've done a great job at portaying Izumi's personality.
But, the black silk cloak was supposed to be the rogue outfit, (which I should probably remove now that I'm not a rogue anymore).
I'm looking forward to reading the next chapters  :D
Title: Re: Chapter 4 - The Healer
Post by: SirTroll on March 20, 2017, 21:38:50
''''
Title: Re: Chapter 4 - The Healer
Post by: takami on March 20, 2017, 21:51:20
great job man  :D
can't wait to read more =D
Title: Re: Chapter 4 - The Healer
Post by: Fraudulent on March 20, 2017, 22:52:29
Great job on this chapter, @Snoopy

You've done a great job at portaying Izumi's personality.
But, the black silk cloak was supposed to be the rogue outfit, (which I should probably remove now that I'm not a rogue anymore).
I'm looking forward to reading the next chapters  :D
I'm glad I portrayed him as intended :)
I apologize for the misunderstanding with the clothing. Admittedly I didn't read through your history, I went through the easy route and based my picture of Izumi from the latest picture on your profile :X

I don't know how you've done it, but not only have you really portrayed Vizier, you've added an element of me personally. It really makes me realise just how well some people on this forum, and how much I love some of you guys. I don't have qualms with saying this, as it's the truth haha. Thanks, child, and everyone else - you know who you are, and thank you.
Thank you! I do try and accurately portray characters from their profiles, and a lot of them are representations of the actual creators; in this case Vizier and yourself. I guess I applied my understand of you as a person and added that element into Vizier.

great job man  :D
can't wait to read more =D
Thank you!
More will come soon :)
Title: Re: Chapter 4 - The Healer
Post by: Manuster on March 21, 2017, 00:27:46
Yes yes yes more characters

Also when did Rapho become Sabaku?????

Dammit.
Title: Re: Chapter 4 - The Healer
Post by: Toratsume Nyshn on March 21, 2017, 00:43:53
Yes yes yes more characters

Also when did Rapho become Sabaku?????

Dammit.
when we were little kids xD

Meanwhile, still worried about kimoto tho :3

although a happy ending here is probably a moment's relief... idk.
Gj again nuibui :)
Title: Re: Chapter 4 - The Healer
Post by: Fraudulent on March 21, 2017, 01:24:24
Yes yes yes more characters

Also when did Rapho become Sabaku?????

Dammit.
More and more yet to come.


Meanwhile, still worried about kimoto tho :3

although a happy ending here is probably a moment's relief... idk.
Gj again nuibui :)
Happy ending, but how long will it last?
Title: Re: Chapter 4 - The Healer
Post by: Diamond Lee on March 21, 2017, 02:06:45
Really liked this chapter!
The part where st says "you're a good man" and rapho says "I'm Izumi" got a cheeky chuckle out of me
gib moar storeh plos





emotional and shit wtf




Title: Re: Chapter 4 - The Healer
Post by: StriderOtaku on March 21, 2017, 14:49:47
Rapho's cameo was cool af and I could really connect with Viz and the situation he and Nibui found themselves in. Great job.
First time I think I have ever agreed with Monk3y...more please (don't tell me to be patient -_-)
Title: Re: Chapter 4 - The Healer
Post by: Fraudulent on March 21, 2017, 15:24:36
Rapho's cameo was cool af and I could really connect with Viz and the situation he and Nibui found themselves in. Great job.
First time I think I have ever agreed with Monk3y...more please (don't tell me to be patient -_-)
Glad you liked the cameo and the fact that you can relate to the situation.

Really liked this chapter!
The part where st says "you're a good man" and rapho says "I'm Izumi" got a cheeky chuckle out of me
gib moar storeh plos





emotional and shit wtf





More story coming later! Stay tuned.
I appreciate the feedback, was it really emotional?