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Author Topic: OSamuraiSan  (Read 16201 times)

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Offline HiChikara

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Re: OSamuraiSan
« Reply #15 on: April 14, 2017, 16:48:43 »
Chapter Two


"STOP!"
Okabe woke up with a start, beads of perspiration glistened on his forehead reflecting the sunlight pouring in from the window beside his bed. His heart was thumping wildly as he glanced from left to right trying to recollect what he had seen. At that moment, the door to his room slid open.

"Nightmare?" A bushy head peeped inside the room, scratching his rugged beard.

"Yeah, I guess" Okabe replied as his pace started to return to its normal rhythm.
"Ah good," The man had entered Okabe's room, "I thought burglars had broken in here."
"Dad." Okabe looked up in the lean thirty-nine-year-old man's eyes, the eyes that reflected a sense of responsibility towards his family, yet an unspoken pain of living a crushed life to which Okabe was familiar to. Just a moment ago he thought he would narrate the incidents of last night to his father, but as soon as their eyes met, he decided against it.
"Nothing."
***

"Oi oi Okabe!" Daru waved at his friend. It was an unusually bright morning for Heizugakure. Okabe had set out to find the bald samurai whom he had encountered last night.
"Good morning Daru, good thing I found you I need your help."
"Alright! I'm up for kicking some goon asses, in fact, my mother got me shinobi sandals she bought from a clearance sale."
Saying this, he put his foot up to let Okabe have a better look at his new found pride.
"Awesome, but today we aren't ass-kicking bad guys," Okabe said as he put Daru's foot away from his face, "today we search for a bald man sporting a ponytail, in traditional clothes and owns a beautiful long katana!"
Daru was confused.
"But why? Who is this person?"
"Just someone I met last night while coming back from the celebrations." Okabe answered, his eyes scanning the locality for anybody who fits his description of the 'Samurai-san'. "And I do not know his name, but for now we could call him samurai-san. Let's split and meet at the ramen shop at one o'clock"
"Samurai?"
***

The sun was already over their heads, Daru was drained of all the motivation he had when they started while Okabe had managed to run into some thugs who stole his lunch money. As the afternoon proceeded, the young duo were drenched in their sweat, exhausted, famished and broke. Five hours of fruitless manhunt had taken a toll on their bodies, but the desire to find out his 'Samurai-san' was burning, even more, brighter than the unforgiving sun. He looked at Daru who was playing dead, half hoping that Okabe abandons the mission seeing him in this state.
"Daru," Okabe shook him, "get up man, we can't give up like this, not after we have spent half our day on it! You hear me? Get up."
"Dude! we have almost scourged the entire village! What makes you think I am going to go any further, and that too with an empty stomach, I am dying anyways, please, grant a dying man his final wish, let's go back home." Daru started sobbing.
Okabe was annoyed with his melodramatic friend. But he could not force him, in fact, he did not even have enough energy to chide his plumpy buddy into action.
'After all, he wanted to 'shinobi kick' some thugs.' Okabe pondered staring at the dusty pair of sandals Daru was wearing.

True, they had searched for their man in all the civilian permitted areas of the village. Was he just a traveler who was staying the night? Did the gang members of the goons he had to face off with last night get him? Okabe was disappointed, but hunger was overwhelming his other senses. He put Daru's arm around his own shoulders and stood up.
"Let's head back," he proclaimed to Daru's joy, "But we come back after lunch and an hour's rest."
***

They were still a few kilometers away from their neighborhood. Okabe remembered this place from last night. He shook his head to wilt the mixture of disappointments which were starting to grow in his head. Suddenly, he saw a familiar face sitting behind the counter of a noodle stall. Okabe with a yelp dropped Daru and ran towards the stall.
He dropped to his knees and bent down, his head touching the ground.
"Forgive me, madam!"
The woman was surprised.
"I had faltered in my duty as a man and I am very disappointed in myself."
Indeed, the woman was none other than the one whom his idol, the 'Samurai-san' had protected from the goons.
It took a moment for her to realize that the boy in front of her was the one who had interfered with the men last night. She looked at his exhausted and apologetic figure and her face broke into a giggle.
"Young man, you have not done anything wrong, why be sorry?" She went up to Okabe with two hot bowls of noodles. "In fact, I should actually thank you for stalling those bastards and saving me."
She smiled at him as she offered him the bowl while taking the other bowl to Daru who had caught up with Okabe and pleased to be treated with a meal. Okabe looked up at the woman and then to his noodle bowl. Her gaze had the mixture of the torment of being reminded of last night but at the same time, a satisfaction to be able to thank Okabe.
As the boys started to devour their meal, the women said,
"It is quite amusing though, even that noble gentleman had asked for forgiveness for not showing up on time with similar words as yours Okabe-kun."

Okabe looked up.
"You know his name?" He asked.
"No, but he told me to pay him a visit if I liked at his home, he seemed to be smitten by me I guess." She chuckled.
"Where?" Okabe had already placed his bowl on the counter, he had barely had anything but a single helping.
"I'm sorry?"
"Where does he live? Can you tell me?"
The woman smiled, "Yeah sure."

Within seconds Okabe was dashing across the road towards the address he had procured from the lady. Although he did not have the noodles, a sudden burst of latent energy had somehow activated inside him.
"I am coming for you Samurai-san."
***

The bald man had stepped out of the dilapidated room. The street was silent, except for a pair of footsteps scurrying towards him. The bald man, standing at the end of the avenue glanced across the rather deserted neighborhood as his grip around his katana tightened, surprised to hear the echoes of small feet advancing towards him.
'Oh,' He thought, 'It's the boy from the previous night.'
He smiled to himself as the ten-year-old halted, out of breath, right in front of him.
Panting and exhausted, Okabe finally spoke...
"Found you samurai-san... now...now teach me-" And with those words, he collapsed on the road as the sun set.
***

Okabe gulped down the soup from his fifth ramen bowl.
The man sighed. Both of them were exchanging stories of their lives over ramen. Okabe learned that the man was a samurai, rather a fallen Samurai, he was evicted from his village after he was wrongly held guilty of stealing the sword of their feudal lord, so he had wandered for a long time and had now decided to settle in Heizugakure.
"Well, I do not have much to do anyways," The samurai said as Okabe gazed at him with earnest desire to learn the art of the sword.
"So yeah, I accept you as my student, after all, you actually found me out even though you had no clue about me."
Okabe's face lightened up as he gave him a big smile.
"I... I am honored Samurai-san."
"Alright then," the Samurai stood up, "Tomorrow, sharp 5 am, training starts." He pushed back his chair as he got up to leave. So did Okabe.
"But Samurai-san... you haven't told me your name yet."
The Samurai turned at him and with a big smile declared a rather peculiar name-

"The name is OSamurai."
"O... Samurai-san?" Okabe repeated.
"OSamurai Sensei!" The man growled.
"Rai sensei!" Okabe was shaken by the strict reaction of his teacher-to-be.
"Rai sensei?" OSamurai thought to himself, "Much Better." He smiled at Okabe for one last time as he disappeared outside the shop.

Updated
« Last Edit: July 19, 2017, 09:42:48 by HiChikara »

Offline Raidnn

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Re: OSamuraiSan
« Reply #16 on: April 15, 2017, 03:00:12 »
Looking good :) though I would suggest to just modify the original post when you add on to it to make it easier to read all the history and just post *updated* so people know you modified it

Sig credit to CaioDart

Offline HiChikara

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Re: OSamuraiSan
« Reply #17 on: April 15, 2017, 14:04:04 »
Looking good :) though I would suggest to just modify the original post when you add on to it to make it easier to read all the history and just post *updated* so people know you modified it
Thanks for the suggestion it's done. :)

Offline Manuster

Re: OSamuraiSan
« Reply #18 on: April 15, 2017, 15:21:25 »
noice nice, interesting story, different too

"over melodramatic" should be over-dramatic or melodramatic not both kekek
RIP my old sig, got too annoying for even me

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Re: OSamuraiSan
« Reply #19 on: April 15, 2017, 15:41:49 »
noice nice, interesting story, different too

"over melodramatic" should be over-dramatic or melodramatic not both kekek
alright... will edit, thanks, man :)

Offline StriderOtaku

Re: OSamuraiSan
« Reply #20 on: April 17, 2017, 11:32:28 »
Forgive me if i'm a bit late to the party, but this is really neat. Looks like OC creation standards have risen again. Great job, Hichikara.
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Offline HiChikara

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Re: OSamuraiSan
« Reply #21 on: April 17, 2017, 11:54:09 »
Forgive me if i'm a bit late to the party, but this is really neat. Looks like OC creation standards have risen again. Great job, Hichikara.
Much appreciated :) thank you so much.

Offline HiChikara

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Re: OSamuraiSan
« Reply #22 on: July 19, 2017, 09:40:39 »
Chapter Three


"Oh God!" It was still three hours before sunrise as Okabe ran through the eastern plains of Heizugakure, heaving, and tripping, tears were rolling down his cheeks and sweat was pouring out of every inch of his body, drenching his garments in the cold winter. The mist was thicker than the clouds. Okabe had tried to suppress his breathing but things had taken a U-turn now. Fear and tension had crept into his mind.
"Oh god Oh god Oh GOD!" Okabe started flailing his katana wildly.
"I'm dead! I'm done for!" He could hear his assailant's muffled footfalls on the grass but the mist made it impossible for Okabe to locate him. His eyes were too busy scanning the white and hazy surrounding.

'Just one clue!' His mind raced, 'Just a sign... just a--'
His thoughts were cut short as he fell face first on the grassy patch and skidded across the setting dew.
"Unghshhh.." Okabe tasted grass. He did not dare look up. He knew he had messed up and he was done for. Yet, collecting all his strength, he pulled his face out of the dirt and greens.
He gasped as he felt the cold metal on his neck. His heart would have given up if he had not seen the red cloth tied on the hilt of the Katana of his assailant.
"You failed again." He said in a cold voice.
"I'm... I'm sorry Rai-sensei." Okabe choked.

The katana disappeared in the mist again as OSamurai's figure appeared.
"You really suck at picking up chakra signatures don't you?"
"Huh?"
"Don't tell me you didn't think about it." Osamurai looked down upon the sorry pile of flesh and bones that his student was.
"I-- umm-- forgot."
Osamurai sighed.
"We shall continue stealth combat tomorrow. Go home, for now, the training seems to be punishment enough for you."
***

"HAHAHA..." Daru's laugh startled Yukahari behind the counter.
"Keep it low Daru!" Yukahari chided him, "I almost spilled your ramen."
She placed two bowls of Ramen and half a loaf of bread on the table. "Besides, it was the first time little Okabe did Stealth fighting didn't he?" She patted Okabe on his head.
"It's stealth combat Yuka-san..." Okabe replied gloomily, "And I'm not little."
"Still, I had heard him say it like a million times to you for the past week!" Daru piped in. "Try picking up the chakra signatures of your opponent Okabe... sense the enemy's chakra Okabe.... Keep your senses clear for any chakra signatures around you... Osamurai-san must be fed up with you by now."
"Daru!" Yukahari glared at him and asked him to stop.
"No Yuka-san, Daru is right... it has been over a month now and not only I fail to pick up chakra but I can't even maintain my chakra." Okabe stirred his noodles staring at them blankly. "I am a bad student... he might really be fed up with me."

Yukahari bent over the counter and placed her hand on Okabe's shoulder, looking straight in his eyes.
"But you are already so good with your blade. In fact, OSamu-kun was surprised that you possessed such skills."
"Yet..." Okabe sighed. "What use is my sword if I can't see my enemy?"
"You cannot just learn everything in one day can you?" Yukahari's voice grew stern. "You said you are not a little boy but you keep acting like one, fussing over one thing and becoming sad over such simple things."
"But-" Okabe tried to interrupt.
"So what if you could not perform well in this test, instead of being discouraged you should assess your problems and overcome them so that the next time you do well."

Daru silently slurped up his bowl of ramen and eyed for Okabe's share.
"Yuka-san," Okabe started, "Would you have still served us breakfast and lunch... if I hadn't ... umm.. saved you that night?"
Yukahari looked at Okabe, amused by such a question thrown at her.
"That's totally unrelated. After all, you both earn your meals by helping me out with the deliveries."
Okabe smiled. "Yeah. Right."
***

"Ready?" OSamurai pulled out his katana from the sheath. It was the same place, biting cold winter night, shrouded in the grayish white mist.
The figure on the other side also pulled out his sword.
"Took you a while didn't it?" Osamurai covered his blade with fire. "Hope you have improved, he smiled as he charged into the emptiness.
***

"Oh God!" Okabe tore through the mist as he rushed towards the open land.
"Oh god oh oh god oh god!" His breath was already heavy as he scanned his surroundings.
'HAZE EASTERN PLAINS' the signboard read.
"I'm late."
***

"Gaah!" The blade ran through his forearm as OSamurai yelped, "Yet you fell for it!" He thrust his blazing katana right through his opponent's shoulder.
'Check.'
He heard a muffled grunt that left the lips of his opponent followed by a coarse laugh. "But not check mate yet sensei?"
The figure of his opponent disappeared leaving behind a huge puff of smoke.
"You still calling me sensei?" OSamurai smirked, "Aren't you ashamed?"
He leapt to his side and swung his Katana right through another figure which too like the previous one went up in smoke. He heard a soft thud on the grass a meter behind him. He turned around. 'Strange. yet...'
"So you have learnt to cloak your chakra too?" He jumped towards the noise only to realize it was Okabe out there. He immediately cut his leap short and turned around.
"Okabe..." He started. "Training cancelled for today, you need to run away."
Okabe had seen OSamurai's blazing katana for the first time. He also noticed the bleeding arm.
"Rai sensei!" He gasped. "You're hur-"
"DUCK!" OSamurai pushed Okabe down as the enemy thrust his sword, going straight for Okabe's throat. Instead of flesh, his sword met the fiery clang of OSamurai's steel. "It's between me and you Oriva, stay away from the kid."
"Hunghh I'm pretty sure now that he is important!" Oriva hissed as he went for another head on swing which once again was thwarted by OSamurai, but immediately, another clone charged from behind aiming straight for Okabe's back.
'Shit!'

SKKRRRISSHH

"After all," Oriva grinned through his anger as he enjoyed the sound of his katana tearing through skin, cutting through the flesh and rupturing the organs, "Sensei loves his students." He pulled his sword out.
Okabe stared into the darkness aghast. His mouth was wide open as the mist, which was disrupted by the rapid movements started to resettle.
"R..Rai sensei." Okabe turned around. The blade had gone straight through OSamurai's left side of his belly. The green grass was turning crimson as blood gushed out of the wound.
"Okabe." OSamurai turned to look at him with a smile, he had closed his eyes to contain the throbbing pain. "You okay?"
Teary eyed and still shaken Okabe nodded.
"Good."
He turned back facing his Enemy now.
"Check mate." He charged at Oriva but just before swinging his sword at him, he rapidly flung it towards his left, launching the burning blade into the mist.
The clone in front of him disappeared as OSamurai heard his enemy's short but clear proclamation of anguish followed by a soft thud. He followed the sound and ended up in front of Oriva's limp body. The sword had gone through the left lung and had immediately turned every tissue it touched to ash. Not a single drop of blood.
"Fire style: Blade of Incineration." He uttered before collapsing.
***

"Osamu-kun? You're awake?"
Okabe heard Yukahari's voice as he jumped up from his perch on porch and rushed inside. Daru followed his lead.
"Rai sensei!"
OSamurai smiled weakly. "There there... stop crying, I'm still in one piece."
Okabe wiped his watery eyes. "I'm not... I am not crying." He looked up smiling.
"Well I'd say thanks to you, I could locate him then and there."
"Huh?"

OSamurai laughed and explained how Oriva, one of his elite students from the village where he came from, had let his guard down by uncloaking his chakra the moment he saw his clone rip my bowel. It was that moment when OSamurai picked his signatures and rest was a simple deception which led to Oriva's fall.
"But to think you kept your cool while your gut was pouring blood," Daru started, "You are damn cool OSamurai sensei."
"Hahaha, it comes with experience," He looked at Okabe, "A lot of things come with experience."
Okabe nodded.
"And you learnt to cloak your chakra?"
"Mhmm, I figured if I can't locate you then I should instead focus on hiding myself." Okabe replied shyly, "After all, I know how pissed you get when someone is not punctual."

Everyone laughed.
***

"Thanks!" Okabe had come out of his Sensei's home, a boy, around 6 or 7 years old was standing outside with his hands inside his pocket.
"No problem! It will be my duty in future to protect and help every villager when I become the Heizukage!"
"Hahaha and I wish you all the best for that." Okabe bowed.
"Well then... I'm getting late! I need to get back home now, will be starting at the academy today! Need to make preps See ya around!... umm Okabe right?"
"Yeah."
"Bye Okabe-kun!"
"Oi wait!" Okabe called out, "I don't know your name though!"

The young boy turned as he was running and with a smile, he shouted back, "Yokiro, Yokiro Nii of the-- waah-oomp!"
He tripped on a rock and fell.
"Oh crap!" Okabe jumped over the fence. "Hope he's okay."

TBC...


« Last Edit: July 19, 2017, 09:43:25 by HiChikara »

Offline Alanok

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Re: OSamuraiSan
« Reply #23 on: July 19, 2017, 21:57:17 »
Good job so far.

Chapter 3 seems faster paced in comparison to the other chapters.
In some parts, I felt like many events happened in a short amount of time.
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Offline Toratsume Nyshn

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Re: OSamuraiSan
« Reply #24 on: July 20, 2017, 06:34:47 »
That's what happens when you're on vacation and try to force a chapter out of your brains >.>
Not upto the expectations. Hopefully the next one will be better :)




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Re: OSamuraiSan
« Reply #25 on: July 20, 2017, 10:34:38 »
Good job so far.

Chapter 3 seems faster paced in comparison to the other chapters.
In some parts, I felt like many events happened in a short amount of time.
That's what happens when you're on vacation and try to force a chapter out of your brains >.>
Not upto the expectations. Hopefully the next one will be better :)

Yeah I agree that it was put together quite fast. Considering that I've only slacked off in the past month :3. But don't worry I'll work on the shortcomings and make sure it doesn't happen again. :)