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Author Topic: Saisho (“Inazuma Kiba”)  (Read 11914 times)

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Offline Ratiustar

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Saisho (“Inazuma Kiba”)
« on: November 29, 2016, 13:01:25 »
Hi guys,

Okay- typed all of this in word and copy pasting, so if formatting is off im sorry :D

Also- I have 0 proficiency in speaking/reading/thinking japanese so ANY and ALL japanese (well, i hope it is japanese xD ) words and references was found via a lot of googling and 3 different translation websites haha, so if i got something wrong please help me correct it? Thanks :D

His name - Saisho - means something like "beginning" or "first". :P

Name: Saisho. Is nicknamed “Inazuma Kiba” (Thunder Fang)
Age: 22
Gender: Male
Height: 170 cm
Weight: 74 KG
Hairstyle: Short/medium- kinda spiky, but mostly just uncombed
Facial hair: None
Hair color: Black
Eye color: Brown
Blood type: O+
Primary chakra nature: Lightning Release
Hidden Village: Kaminarigakure
Clan: None
Good or evil at heart?: Good – I think?

He looks more-or-less like the guy in my profile picture haha, although im still not happy with it. I am currently busy drawing him to the best of my abilities  8)

Description of the character's personality:

A joyful, friendly individual with a great sense of humour, finding joy in the little things. He is very much a people’s person, caring and supportive of his friends. He tries to find the best in everyone, often causing turmoil for himself as he tends to give people more chances than they deserve. He will however, go to unimaginable lengths in order to protect those close to him, which might on certain occasions portray him to be the villain.

To explain this better – He cares deeply for other humans, but he knows the evil that lies within everyone. He will give you several chances when you have done wrong to him, but hurt his friends and he will not forgive you… and not in the “holding a grudge” way.. He will try his best to make sure you will not be able to hurt his friends again. Whether his method of achieving this is lethal or not depends on the “enemy’s” actions.
Being a very sociable person, he likes to wander off on his own for days on end, traveling to different regions and villages trying to improve himself in all possible manners.

Description of the character's history:

(Disclaimer- when reading the fight scene, please keep in mind that this is happening at fast speeds -think rock lee fast)

Thunder roared through the sky as the rain pelted down on the thin roof. The caretaker of the Orphanage has been running around all night, many – too many – babies have been brought to her home. The attack on the village a few nights ago has left its mark. Though victory they achieved, it was at great cost.
Among these babies was one that had no name, as his parents were not well known to the people of the village, mostly keeping to themselves throughout their lives with little to no true friends who could give her the boy’s name. Instead, she named him Saisho.

As Saisho became older he made many friends and was a great help to the Caretaker, helping out wherever he could. When he got enrolled at the Academy it soon became apparent that his affinity for Ninjutsu and Kenjutsu was above the average student, and his speed was close to unmatched.

At the age of 21, Saisho was still living at the orphanage, but as a helper to the now rather aged Caretaker whom he held great respect for. Up to this point there had been no wars, no attacks on the village or even a real threat to the village for that matter, but Saisho trained every day to improve himself and to become as strong as possible.

It was late one afternoon, while Saisho was busy training, when a sudden explosion made him look towards the village. It took him a few seconds before he noticed the smoke and without a thought he sped towards it. He had no second thoughts, his village was under attack and he would defend it with his life.
Upon arrival two things where immediately obvious, one- it definitely was an attack on the village and two- the orphanage was in danger.

Most of the village shinobi were busy fighting off the attackers, who were in overwhelming numbers, failing to notice the three invaders heading towards the orphanage. It was only when half of the orphanage’s front wall blew away, revealing the attackers busy assaulting the caretaker, that Saisho realised the orphanage has never been evacuated.

Fury enveloped him and he sprinted to the orphanage, managing to deflect a would-be fatal blow to the caretakers head with his Ninjatō. The attacker looked surprised for merely a second before launching himself at Saisho, who nimbly dodged to the left and spun around, raising his leg and kicking the attacker hard at the back of his head, sending him stumbling forward.

The other two attackers were faster than he anticipated, and an immense force hit his ribs, causing him to fall, out of the broken wall and into the street. Saisho did not have time to ponder the pain as another attacker was already thrusting his katana straight down at his chest. He rolled to the side and evaded the attack barely, but jumped to his feet and launched himself at the attacker, who parried and retaliated. Saisho was desperately looking for an opening, he knew the other two would come to help their friend soon, so his window to eliminate his enemy was closing fast.

He began noticing a pattern, or rhythm of sorts in his enemies movements, and Saisho knew how to win. He threw his Ninjatō into the air, ducking to dodge a swing from his attacker and he weaved his sign. Instantaneously a strong current flowed through his arm and collected in his palm, forming a ball of lightning. He dodged another attack, caught his Ninjatō with his available hand and swing it wide, causing his attacker to jump back to evade it. Perfect! He trust his palm toward his enemy and released his jutsu. A loud crack sounded as a bolt of lightning flashed and his foe fell to the ground.

He turned and saw the other two attackers coming at him, one with shuriken in his hand- ready to throw. Saisho weaved again, and this time his chakra channelled into his Ninjatō, causing strands of electricity to run around the blade, revealing its potential. Saisho breathed out slowly and concentrated, adjusting his chakra flow through his body in preparation of his next move.

The first attacker charged straight at him. Saisho, his speed now altered by his lightning chakra, dodged easily and with two quick swipes blood gushed from his now dead enemy before him. A Soft wirl made him leap sideways- dodging the 3 shuriken narrowly. Without a second to spare he charged at the final opponent. He attacked with his Ninjatō, but somehow the opponent was fast enough to deflect and dodge. A solid kick connected at Saisho’s chest, sending him flying backwards. Almost immediately a large ball of fire sped towards him, scortching his leg as he tried to dodge it. Fire Jutsu?

The pain in his leg was enough to prevent him from attacking head on, knowing that the opponent now has the advantage in melee combat. Another ball of fire came at him, but this time he was clear in time, jumping high to evade the attack. Immediately he sent four kunai towards his attacker, who jumped sideways to dodge them, deflecting the last kunai with his own. The attacker weaved his signs and brought his hands to his mouth, and Saisho realised what was coming. He retaliated by weaving his own signs while spinning mid-air, releasing his Ninjatō as he faced toward his opponent again, who now had a large ball of fire releasing from his lips directly at Saisho. His Ninjatō landed several feet away from his attacker, stabbing through dirt and getting stuck firmly.

Saisho waited until fireball had almost hit him when he pulled the string attached to his Ninjatō, forcibly pulling himself down and out of the fireballs path of destruction. As he landed he released his charged Jutsu he had weaved in mid-air and sent it straight toward his attacker. The lightning that burst forth took the shape of a serpent like creature, and within a flash it had reached his opponent. Barely dodging the serpent-like lightning jutsu, the attacker jumped sideways. The jutsu hit the ground, sending rocks and dirt flying everywhere, creating a massive dust cloud. The attacker weaved his signs and released a powerful gush of air, almost instantly clearing the dust cloud- but it was too late.

Before the attacker was a young man with short, black hair and –determined - brown eyes. The young man moved swiftly, elegantly- not wasting a single movement, wielding a Ninjatō with an immense current flashing around its blade, giving it an almost white glow – much like the serpent jutsu’s fang.
Saisho was right in front of the attacker, his Ninjatō at the ready, pulsing heavily from the current flowing through its blade. This was a new jutsu he had been practicing lately, and this seemed like the opportune moment to use it. He swung and the blade found its mark, slicing across the attacker’s chest, sending the immense current through his body. The current spread instantly, killing his opponent before his blade’s damage had even taken effect.

As the opponent fell, Saisho saw the Kage fighting with the rest of the Shinobi, and he knew that hope was not lost yet. He made sure the old caretaker was safe, along with all the orphans, before he set out and went to help in defending the village.

In the aftermath of their successful defence, Saisho spoke with the elderly caretaker, explaining his fight with his three opponents and how he realised that he was not yet strong enough to protect the ones close to him. He knew he had to learn more, become faster and fight stronger. He helped her arrange another helper before setting off on his journey, hoping that when he returns he will be able to show her how he has grown, hoping to show her how she raised him. Hoping, to make her proud.
« Last Edit: November 29, 2016, 14:54:23 by Ratiustar »


  • Character Name: Saisho

Offline Tsunayoshi

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Re: Saisho (“Inazuma Kiba”)
« Reply #1 on: November 29, 2016, 14:01:34 »
I read a bit of your story, and I'm interested in reading the rest, but I'm simply not able to because of the appearance of the character thread.

You can use the bold, Italic, color features whenever you want.

Here are the codes, just put text in between them.
Bold
Code: [Select]
[b]Type here[/b]Italic
Code: [Select]
[i]Type here[/i]color
Code: [Select]
[color=typeincolor]Type here[/color]
Once you've made the thread look a little nicer, I'll read everything. ^^

Welcome to SLO.
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Offline Ratiustar

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Re: Saisho (“Inazuma Kiba”)
« Reply #2 on: November 29, 2016, 14:57:13 »
I read a bit of your story, and I'm interested in reading the rest, but I'm simply not able to because of the appearance of the character thread.

You can use the bold, Italic, color features whenever you want.

Here are the codes, just put text in between them.
Bold
Code: [Select]
[b]Type here[/b]Italic
Code: [Select]
[i]Type here[/i]color
Code: [Select]
[color=typeincolor]Type here[/color]
Once you've made the thread look a little nicer, I'll read everything. ^^

Welcome to SLO.

Hi!

Thanks for the input, I only saw now that the few things i actually did make bold and italic didnt copy from ms word(duh xD) so I fixed that, hope it's better now :P Also- i realise the story part is a massive blok of text, but I am not sure really how to make this look better :/ any suggestions would be appreciated :D I am looking to stay quite a while so getting in order is on my priority list :D

Offline taigakun

Re: Saisho (“Inazuma Kiba”)
« Reply #3 on: November 29, 2016, 15:31:21 »
Very nice story and an interesting character

GJ


Offline mamita

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Re: Saisho (“Inazuma Kiba”)
« Reply #4 on: November 29, 2016, 15:36:14 »
I like it! It's very well written.
If you intend to ever write more, I look forward to it.

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Offline Toratsume Nyshn

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    Glory to the Black Rose
Re: Saisho (“Inazuma Kiba”)
« Reply #5 on: November 29, 2016, 15:43:22 »
ah! Kaminari population is rising!
#Chinaofvregland
ok jk :3

gj with the story bruh!
I liked it too.. (like everybodu elsu)
noted
stay active and have fun!




Offline Kings_Head

Re: Saisho (“Inazuma Kiba”)
« Reply #6 on: November 29, 2016, 17:44:43 »
Wow looks really good and someone who isn't at the age of 15 or 16 good job can't wait to see the your drawing of you character.
Nobleblood Leader for the Great Kirishima Clan
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Offline Ratiustar

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Re: Saisho (“Inazuma Kiba”)
« Reply #7 on: November 29, 2016, 21:41:06 »
ah! Kaminari population is rising!
#Chinaofvregland
ok jk :3

gj with the story bruh!
I liked it too.. (like everybodu elsu)
noted
stay active and have fun!


Im currently investigating a bunch of clans and yours is on the list of ones i might apply for :D

Wow looks really good and someone who isn't at the age of 15 or 16 good job can't wait to see the your drawing of you character.

Yea I want my character to be a well trained ninja, not a trainee. Well, in the sense of he can already take relative good care of himself, and have a strong base of ninjutsu to apply as well as some decently trained skill with his sword.

Offline Manuster

Re: Saisho (“Inazuma Kiba”)
« Reply #8 on: November 30, 2016, 14:32:44 »
Lovely, detailed, and smart. You would be a great addition to Heathen

Link: https://www.shinobilifeonline.com/index.php?topic=2166.msg30833%3Btopicseen#new
RIP my old sig, got too annoying for even me

Offline Tsunayoshi

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Re: Saisho (“Inazuma Kiba”)
« Reply #9 on: November 30, 2016, 15:07:43 »
Lovely, detailed, and smart. You would be a great addition to Heathen

Link: https://www.shinobilifeonline.com/index.php?topic=2166.msg30833%3Btopicseen#new

wow


Good story, it also looks better now! GJ, looking forward to seeing your character!
  • Character Name: Tsunayoshi Kaiyo


Offline StriderOtaku

Re: Saisho (“Inazuma Kiba”)
« Reply #10 on: November 30, 2016, 15:36:33 »
nicu story
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Offline Ratiustar

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Re: Saisho (“Inazuma Kiba”)
« Reply #11 on: November 30, 2016, 17:08:19 »
Lovely, detailed, and smart. You would be a great addition to Heathen

Link: https://www.shinobilifeonline.com/index.php?topic=2166.msg30833%3Btopicseen#new


Not bad, to be honest I havent read much of your organisation till you mentioned it now :D

Offline Toratsume Nyshn

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Re: Saisho (“Inazuma Kiba”)
« Reply #12 on: November 30, 2016, 23:01:24 »
ah! Kaminari population is rising!
#Chinaofvregland
ok jk :3

gj with the story bruh!
I liked it too.. (like everybodu elsu)
noted
stay active and have fun!


Im currently investigating a bunch of clans and yours is on the list of ones i might apply for :D

;_; thanks for giving it a look... I appreciate it :)
*There is hope.... there is still hope.. ;_; I will not die alone*




Offline Manuster

Re: Saisho (“Inazuma Kiba”)
« Reply #13 on: December 01, 2016, 15:20:53 »
Lovely, detailed, and smart. You would be a great addition to Heathen

Link: https://www.shinobilifeonline.com/index.php?topic=2166.msg30833%3Btopicseen#new


Not bad, to be honest I havent read much of your organisation till you mentioned it now :D

Thanks, we'l' be expecting you ;)

P.S it isn't myorganisation. I'm just 2nd in command. :p

P.P.S Join the Toratsume clan too xD before that dude kills himself xD
RIP my old sig, got too annoying for even me

Offline Ratiustar

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Re: Saisho (“Inazuma Kiba”)
« Reply #14 on: December 01, 2016, 16:37:24 »
Lovely, detailed, and smart. You would be a great addition to Heathen

Link: https://www.shinobilifeonline.com/index.php?topic=2166.msg30833%3Btopicseen#new


Not bad, to be honest I havent read much of your organisation till you mentioned it now :D

Thanks, we'l' be expecting you ;)

P.S it isn't myorganisation. I'm just 2nd in command. :p

P.P.S Join the Toratsume clan too xD before that dude kills himself xD

Application posted :P

Unfortunately i wont be joining the clan Toratsume, it doesn't quite fit with what i have in mind, sorry man