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(June 02, 2016, 00:34:37)
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Messages - Snoopy
The links in my signature should help you get started
ayyy good chapter cant wait for the next oneThank you! I need to calm it down a bit - I've released 3 chapters in like 2 days lol, besides, I'm yet to think about what's going to happen in the future.
Damn, alot of setting up, noice noiceAppreciate the feedback - corrected it, thank you.
and seeing as Pebble Lee or Murica aint here I'll do the duties
"Nibui stepped through with Vizier tight in his trail."
"Nibui stepped through with Vizier tight on his trail."
However, for them the celebrations did not end here.
The new base was slightly more secluded than the previous one which is now under investigation, and this gave them a bit more freedom.
“Grab me another bottle of Sake” a raspy voice commanded from a leather sofa that curves around a medium-sized gambling table.
Blackbox had invited friends and prostitutes over at their trap house. The atmosphere was thick with smoke from burning joints and the scent of alcohol was heavy in the air.
An attractive blonde woman made her way across the wooden floorboards with the desired alcoholic drink in her hand.
“Deal me—“ he was quickly interrupted when a white glass bottle swooped before his eyes and crashed on the table.
A moment of silence dawned between them - the gambler took this time and adjusted the blunt to the corner of his lips. He turned to the prostitute and blew the cannabis smoke into her face.
“Fuck you, Konohuro!” she yelled out and took a step backwards; her face crunched up with disgust as her hands began to flap in her face.
His mouth widened with a deep chuckle; he was callous and took his membership with Blackbox for granted and as a permit to mess with people.
Konohuro was not native to the Hidden Dust, he was born and raised a warrior from the Hidden Volcano, and therefore never fully complied with Hokorigakure regulations – he would often get in trouble with locals, but always found a way out.
“Fam, Konohuro, relax—“ a young voice called out from the bar before the wooden entrance door burst open, silencing everyone in the room and attracting attention.
Nibui stepped through with Vizier tight on his trail.
Every face began to gleam with hope and excitement when they recognized their leader and realized he made it home safe… but something was off.
Kunoichi began to make their way towards them and men spoke up from behind.
“Look who finally decided to show up” Konohuro could be heard in the distance.
Nibui was the odd one out; he had a serious tone, barging through and pushing away prostitutes who began clinging and grasping onto him with drinks still in their hands.
He kissed his teeth in annoyance and raised his katana forth to clear the clustered lane.
Konohuro stood up and leaned against the wall next to him, waiting for Nibui to walk through the middle.
“What’s going on, bruv?” he questioned in confusion.
“Move over” Nibui shook his blade towards the direction of the inner corner of the sofa, but he didn’t look up. Everything seemed a bit too much for him right now, especially after what he had been through.
Konohuro shifted through the leather, enough to provide space for both returned shinobi. He could sense that they weren’t feeling it tonight, and he could assume why that was the case.
He was a blind shinobi with long white hair. He lost his vision at a young age and is now geared up with a black ribbon around his head; his other senses excelled at their profession – he could almost perfectly visualize the exact location of objects through echo-location and thermal radiation.
Three of them were mutually sceptical about engaging a discussion.
Nibui’s tanned hand glided across the table and picked up a rolled blunt. He stared at it for a moment and turned to Konohuro.
“It’s Indica” he announced.
Nibui nodded with acceptance before placing it in his mouth and sparked the tip.
He inhaled deeply before releasing the residue through his nose.
Rapho's cameo was cool af and I could really connect with Viz and the situation he and Nibui found themselves in. Great job.Glad you liked the cameo and the fact that you can relate to the situation.
First time I think I have ever agreed with Monk3y...more please (don't tell me to be patient -_-)
Really liked this chapter!More story coming later! Stay tuned.
The part where st says "you're a good man" and rapho says "I'm Izumi" got a cheeky chuckle out of me
gib moar storeh plos
emotional and shit wtf
I appreciate the feedback, was it really emotional?
This kept me captivated and wanting more. I loved it (I don't appreciate Vizier turning my men into meat-pie tho, 'tis pure evil.)Glad you liked it
Moving on to the next chapter.
I've been away for a while so I missed this.Thank you! You should check out chapters 3 and 4! 5 will be posted later today
The chapter had nice pacing and a lot of the mistakes have already been corrected.I'm intrigued.
So far so good, well done Snoopy.
Yeah, its refreshing to see some new ideas on the forum. Exploring street culture and gang wars, nice nice.God damn it, Kimoto!
----- and that newb's dilemma portrayed in the form of kimoto. It always gets me X( .
heading on to chapter 4!
And yeah, I suppose it is a refreshing perspective of writing and way to see things around SLO.
Hope you enjoy my works
Yes yes yes more charactersMore and more yet to come.
Also when did Rapho become Sabaku??
Happy ending, but how long will it last?
Meanwhile, still worried about kimoto tho :3
although a happy ending here is probably a moment's relief... idk.
Gj again nuibui
One question though...It's a personal preference of mine to separate my works into different threads. I find it neater that way and easier to navigate.
Why isn't it all in the same thread? >.>
The links in my signature are useful and would help you get started and find your way around the different community resources.
If you have any further questions; do not be afraid to ask.
Great job on this chapter, @SnoopyI'm glad I portrayed him as intended
You've done a great job at portaying Izumi's personality.
But, the black silk cloak was supposed to be the rogue outfit, (which I should probably remove now that I'm not a rogue anymore).
I'm looking forward to reading the next chapters
I apologize for the misunderstanding with the clothing. Admittedly I didn't read through your history, I went through the easy route and based my picture of Izumi from the latest picture on your profile :X
I don't know how you've done it, but not only have you really portrayed Vizier, you've added an element of me personally. It really makes me realise just how well some people on this forum, and how much I love some of you guys. I don't have qualms with saying this, as it's the truth haha. Thanks, child, and everyone else - you know who you are, and thank you.Thank you! I do try and accurately portray characters from their profiles, and a lot of them are representations of the actual creators; in this case Vizier and yourself. I guess I applied my understand of you as a person and added that element into Vizier.
great job manThank you!
can't wait to read more =D
More will come soon
More!Patience, young mantis!
i criHave some tissues, friend.
Bumbaclart xD nice chapter!Thank you! And it was actually a coincidence that Izumi (@Rapho) was a Dust shinobi, haha. It was a perfect opportunity for me.
It's nice to see forum members on the stories. Gg Izumi for saving Nibui life
“The healing is taking place slowly but surely” an unfamiliar voice broke out; it was soft, young and tender.
Vizier grunted in acknowledgement and relief.
A soft wind blew across the field and through the hill which Nibui was being operated on. The night-sky was fresh and rich with stars.
“What are the chances he’ll make it?” Vizier asked with concern.
He paused for a second and tilted his head slightly towards him.
“Given the circumstances that his chest was burned, damaging vital organs such as the heart and lungs… around thirty-three percent” the soft voice replied before readjusting his focus on the leader of Blackbox who happened to be half-dead.
Vizier was impressed by the skill displayed before him.
“You look young… and it amazes me how well you work… - I’ve seen shinobi who specialize in medical ninjutsu struggle with these sort of operations”
“I’m 19, sir, and I’m flattered by your appraisal”
The boy had messy brown hair and was covered in a black cloak of silk. The blue healing rays reflected into his black eyes.
The evening strolled along and a dozen winds went by before another word was spoken.
The glow in his hands ceased and the medic raised himself.
“That’s as much as I can do…; he has been bandaged up around the torso and I’ve regrown his organ tissue”
“Now only time can tell if the operation was successful”
Vizier raised his head, sorrow had overtaken him but he didn’t show it – he couldn’t, even in this situation.
“I understand… I uh… I appreciate everything you have done”
The youthful healer swung his leather bag full with equipment around his head and steadied it onto his body.
“Don’t worry about it, I help people around the Dust free-of-charge… even criminals”
Vizier couldn’t help but strike a faint smile.
The cloaked shinobi had already turned around in preparation to depart but stopped to the sound of Vizier’s aged voice once more.
“You’re a good man”
He paused and tilted his head for the second time.
“I’m Izumi” he informed the elder before resuming his walk down the hill into the darkness.
Vizier was downcast and in grief from the constant worry for Nibui.
“I tried to protect you”
He glanced over at the body once more before setting off into the fields in search of flowers and a plank of wood with enough space for carvings.
Vizier was constantly haunted by the success rate of the operation. “Thirty-three percent” was the only thing going through his mind, and it was on repeat.
It wasn’t long before he returned with a batch of flowers and a plank in the other hand.
Vizier was paralyzed on the spot and dropped everything he held to the sight of Nibui sitting in a cross-legged position, spinning a kunai on his finger.
“Bumbaclart… let’s head home” a grin took over Nibui’s face as his eyes sharpened.
Vizier clenched a fist and slowly shook his head against it in disbelief.
“Fucking idiot” he couldn’t help but let off a light chuckle out of relief.
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