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Author Topic: The Battle of Yoake Hill - Chapter 1  (Read 2175 times)

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Offline Diamond Lee

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The Battle of Yoake Hill - Chapter 1
« on: November 27, 2016, 03:39:07 »



The Battle of Yoake Hill -  Chapter 1
Yo what up everyone, I hope the title doesn't make you cringe too much! It might change or it might stay as this, but anyways, welcome to the first chapter of my story!
First I'd like to give acknowledgements and thanks to:
Toratsume Nyshn, who told me about dark characters in SLO and gave me the map of its world. To Mars, he helped me vote for character skills and gave very valuable advice about that. Nova: Helped vote for character skills and gave good insight on personalities
Now let's dive right in!
27 October, Year 1567 of the new
Calendar
At a Hill between the border of the land of Ashes, Hills, and Thunder.

1057 Hours
He walked up to the side of the hill, his black, flame bordered robes rustling with every step that he took up the gravely ground. He placed his hands on the worn stone face carved into the hill,and breathed in deeply. After a few moments, he sighed with relief. "Yes, this is the place..." He whispered to himself. "After all this hard work..."
      He chuckled happily and began gathering his chakra into his palms. He didn't have to make a hand seal, and exclaimed: Fire Style: Explosive Palm! Molded chakra in the form of fire rushed from his palms, into the stone, diffusing into the hill, blowing a deep, conical passage into it. A booming explosion sounded, followed by a plume of smoke, prompting a flock of birds to flee from the surrounding trees.
     As the dust began to settle, the dark-skinned man walked into the hole he had gouged out from the hill, casually removing and dropping his gloves on the still smoking rubble.
••••••••••
On a hill on the other side of the valley.
1103 Hours
Hooke Himitsu was jolted awake by a loud, rumbling boom that seemed to shake the very foundations of the earth. "Where am I?" He looked around him. What he saw immediately around him were what seemed to be the remains of a picnic, bottles of a substance which may or may not have been part of the three Shinobi Prohibitions, his green cloak, his secret summoning scroll, and... a very attractive kunoichi, sleeping next to him, half dressed.
    That's when Hookes' memories rushed back to him. "Oooh... That was a nice picnic, heheheheh...." He was about to lie back down to catch some more Zzs when he remembered why he was jolted awake in the first place. He looked in wonder at the steady smoke rising from one of the hills across the border. "Perhaps.... perhaps I should report this to Lord Fulvius.... meh.... But then again... he would probably slay me if he found out I was around when this happened and didn't rush back to him with valuable intel.... meh whatever." And Hooke lay back down.
     Five minutes later, however, he lazily sat back up, and realized why he should go back to the Hidden Metal to report this. "If I go now, I can avoid being around when this damsel awakens. That would save me some trouble... And more importantly, I wouldn't have to finish this mission! Guess I'm going then!" Hooke sprinted from the picnic area just as the kunoichi awakened, just barely remembering to take his cloak and top secret summoning scroll. He also paused to draw an obscene diagram on a tree with a kunai, but that, well it was his signature getaway symbol.
   Speeding towards the Hidden Metal, the wind tousling his green hair, Hooke was glad to be traveling again, not on an idiotic body guarding mission he would have totally ditched anyways.
••••••••
Hidden Thunder Village, Kage Office
1200 Hours
Reminance Kaiyo rubbed his sleepy eyelids, looking out of the window of his office. He lifted his head from his desk, shook himself awake, and returned to signing boring paperwork on his office.
    He was signing a contract about the purchase of a thousand blunted kunai for academy purposes when he heard a knock on the door. "Come in!" He answered. The door opened, and a pale, young adult with white hair entered. "Hello Shiro, what is it?" Reminance asked casually. "Sir, one of our intel sources has reported that In the area around the border between our nation, the Hill, and the Ash, an explosion was heard and smoke was seen rising from a hill. It seems like the exact hill is the one with the ancient stone face carved into it... I don't know if you know about it sir." "Yes, yes," replied Reminance. "Isn't that the hill that old legends from the area talk about as the "Yoake Hill", "Dawn Hill"? "Yeah" replied Shiro, who could allow this casual response due to his strength and reputation in the village. "Alright, thanks for telling me about this, Shiro. I'll send a two-man team to investigate, as a C-to-B rank mission."
    Shiro walked out of the room, his mind already on the next thing, while Reminance checked his Shinobi Directory for the closest possible chunin team to the site of the explosion.
•••••••••••
Yoake Hill
1137 Hours
The dark-skinned young man arrived at the end of the conical passage he had created with his explosion, and ran his fingers along the wall. "Yes!" He exclaimed, after feeling an anomaly in the rock. He pulled apart a piece of rubble, and then he saw it. Here it was. He ran his hands along the polished, obviously man made stone wall.

    He placed his hands on it, gathered his chakra, and reiterated the Fire Style: Explosive Palm jutsu one more time, albeit at a much smaller scale. As the dust settled, the descending stone stairs that had been uncovered by his jutsu seemed to beckon to the man to descend them. He dropped his black robe, now wearing just pants and a black vest. He walked slowly into the passage, his chakra almost fully spent, smiling gleefully as he descended down the stairs.
    "Finally" he whispered to himself, as he descended into the darkness.
THE END OF CHAPTER
Thanks for registering to everyone who did. I will do my best to make sure your character is featured. I think this chapter is quite short compared to the ones that will come. Please comment on how I can make the next chapters better, although I will have started it by the time this goes up... Thanks!
Diamond Lee out
« Last Edit: November 27, 2016, 03:49:30 by Diamond Lee »


Let the power of youth wash over you and fill you with strength!


-lethal dankness

Offline Toratsume Nyshn

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    Glory to the Black Rose
Re: The Battle of Yoake Hill - Chapter 1
« Reply #1 on: November 27, 2016, 05:53:04 »
yep.. its too much shrouded in mystery... But I'd say a good start.  I'd suggest play a lil more with your words..
waiting for the next chapter!
bring it on!
« Last Edit: November 27, 2016, 05:55:32 by Toratsume Nyshn »




Offline Yamasukage

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Re: The Battle of Yoake Hill - Chapter 1
« Reply #2 on: November 27, 2016, 06:09:29 »
Lol damn I'm tryna figure out who the black figure might be and what's in Yoake hill (-_- ) to much suspense



Lol awesome start dude goodluck with it
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Offline Tsunayoshi

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Re: The Battle of Yoake Hill - Chapter 1
« Reply #3 on: November 27, 2016, 08:41:34 »
If it's mentioned a robe, it's probably a katakiuchi member. He has dark skin.

This only leads me to think that it's either @Kings_Head & @Nas

This was good, lmao
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Offline Kings_Head

Re: The Battle of Yoake Hill - Chapter 1
« Reply #4 on: November 27, 2016, 08:44:10 »
If it's mentioned a robe, it's probably a katakiuchi member. He has dark skin.

This only leads me to think that it's either @Kings_Head & @Nas

This was good, lmao
i did not sign up for this so it must be nas
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Offline Kai

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Re: The Battle of Yoake Hill - Chapter 1
« Reply #5 on: November 27, 2016, 09:37:22 »
So far, so good.

Offline DarthTyrael

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Re: The Battle of Yoake Hill - Chapter 1
« Reply #6 on: November 27, 2016, 10:04:24 »
Great start so far, can't wait to see the rest of the story ;)




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Offline Mars

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Re: The Battle of Yoake Hill - Chapter 1
« Reply #7 on: November 27, 2016, 10:07:42 »
Love it, can't wait for the next one!
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Offline Nova

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Re: The Battle of Yoake Hill - Chapter 1
« Reply #8 on: November 27, 2016, 11:11:59 »
Looking good so far, can't wait for the next chapter :p

Edit:
I'm fairly certain the robed person is Diamond Lee, as he is also brown-skinned + his primary Chakra nature is fire.
Whereas Nas' & Taiga's are both Lightning.
« Last Edit: November 27, 2016, 11:16:37 by Nova »



Offline adithya

Re: The Battle of Yoake Hill - Chapter 1
« Reply #9 on: November 27, 2016, 11:42:36 »
Awesome shit man. Love the mystery :P

Offline Reminance

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Re: The Battle of Yoake Hill - Chapter 1
« Reply #10 on: November 27, 2016, 12:00:00 »
Aight sick chapter :)
Will be reading more ofc :p


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Offline StriderOtaku

Re: The Battle of Yoake Hill - Chapter 1
« Reply #11 on: November 27, 2016, 12:12:14 »
Pretty good so far. Can't wait for the next chapter. :)
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Offline Nas

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Re: The Battle of Yoake Hill - Chapter 1
« Reply #12 on: November 27, 2016, 12:40:41 »
If it's mentioned a robe, it's probably a katakiuchi member. He has dark skin.

This only leads me to think that it's either @Kings_Head & @Nas

This was good, lmao

Doesn't feel like me especially since I use lightning but yea it could be Diamond
Good story btw started off really well
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Offline Hooke

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Re: The Battle of Yoake Hill - Chapter 1
« Reply #13 on: November 27, 2016, 13:21:06 »
Good shit fam.
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Offline Diamond Lee

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Re: The Battle of Yoake Hill - Chapter 1
« Reply #14 on: November 27, 2016, 13:52:45 »
Everyone who tried to guess got it all wrong.... bear with me when I reveal who it is pls
Let the power of youth wash over you and fill you with strength!


-lethal dankness

 

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