Character creation Malice

[Malice_Unleashed]

(used) Nickname: Malice
(unused) real name: Morugan erisu
Age: 18
Gender: Male
Height: 200 cm
Weight: 70 kg
Hairstyle:long
Facial hair: -
Hair colour: black
Eye colour: a mismatch pair of eyes one as red as blood and the other as black as night
Blood type: ab -
chakra colour: Black and red ironically matching his eye's
usable types of chakra: fire, earth and lightning
Village: hidden Hill village
Clan: Erisu (last member of the clan)
organisation/position in organisation: leader of the Shinkōshoku no fukushū
Good or evil at heart?: evil incarnated
occupation
None
skills and abilities:
Demonic chakra
able to use the abilities of the devil (Kira Shi) for about 2 minutes
uses a wide range of unique and supremely deadly jutsu's
a novice of taijutsu
a adapt of genjutsu
a master of the sword styles
arsenal
a single edge zweihander
dual twin swords one white and the other is black
appearance
he commonly wears a cloak with it's hood up covering his head and two clawed gauntlets with his giant sword on his back and a black and red colouring to his clothing giving him a sinister appearance he also wears a unique mask with scratch marks down both sides of it and is colour red and black
Description of the character's personality:
a calm yet cold demeanour hiding a cruel and malicious mentality
Description of the character's history:
Morugan Erisu aka Malice was a young boy from the hidden Hill village from a young age he was trained none stop to surpass his father who was murder four years after his birth. His mother died in child birth he was raised by his master after his father died, he meet his master is the day right after his fathers funeral. Morugan Erisu had heard that his master Shiro Kage was here on a mission to gather information on his fathers killer upon hearing this Morugan Erisu rushed to the only entrance known to outsiders. Morugan waited twelve long hours in the soaking rain until finally he arrived Morugan Erisu rushed forward and attacked him which Shiro Kage blocked with ease his master asked why he was been attack Morugan Erisu asked to be taken on as Shiro's student and all the information of the man who killer his father Hikari Erisu. Upon hearing this he told the child he would grant only one of these requests Morugan was natural greatly displeased by this but he knew he could easily find more information about his fathers killer while he was in dire need of training and new techniques so Morugan decide that he wanted to be taught the way of the shinobi.

Shiro then took the very inexperienced child under his wing till he could find the kid a good teacher. while on their travel to the hidden volcano village they ran into a demon who called itself Kira Shi, Shiro and Morugan engaged the fiend in battle with Kira Shi's defeat but before it was finished off it fired of a astral energy bolt at Morugan striking him in the heart and with that the demon dissipated leaving Shiro unscathed and Morugan mortally wounded. While Morugan was unconscious Shiro took off as fast as he could to a medical facility in the hidden cave village nearby with Morugan on his back unbeknownst to Shiro was that while unconscious Morugan he entered the labyrinth of his mind to find the very demon he fought before he asked what it was doing here it Kira Shi responded with "I am here to observe you path of destruction and devastation and I hope you entertain me and in exchange for having me along for the ride I will let you use my power". upon hearing this Morugan was curious and wonder what kind of power this demon had to offer when all he could ask for could be achieved through training. Morugan curious asked what kind of power the demon was offering the demon answered in a menacing tone"the power of life and death little boy if you can handle it" Morugan agreed eagerly to the deal he was making with a devil.

Morugan awoke in a inn room feeling like that had all been a dream the deal with the devil and his wounds but upon further inspection he found bandages around his torso region. Know realising it was not a dream he got out of bed shocked and headed over to the dresser where his clothes hang to get changed then Morugan headed down the flight of stairs to find his master eating ramen. Morugan asked how long he was out his master answered casual a month and two days exactly he then headed out to train shrugging this off as another day in the life of Morugan after that they continued their journey to the hidden volcano village upon arriving he finished his training and continued advancing as a hidden Volcano shinobi until on his birth day he became a jonin at the age of eight. Morugan was renown for completed all his missions without fail but at the sacrifice of his teammates over and over again. Morugan finally entered the black ops at the age of fifteen where he then took over the former leader of the hidden volcano village black ops.

Morugan left the hidden volcano village at the age of seventeen the rest up till then is unknown but it is speculated that he was killed by a masked man named Malice. Shiro still hunts Malice till this day. Malice after "killing" Morugan destroyed the hidden volcano village then disappeared.

[Dragon6624]

For your sake Malice, I would suggest you heed the next bits of advice, before your character name becomes the denotative emotion people about the forums refer to you with.

First off, due to the nature of trademark, there will be nothing related directly to the characters, locations, events, or jutsu names from within the Naruto universe. Therefore, it'd be advised to remove any and all forms of the Uchiha and Sage of the Six Paths markings/jutsu. As a by-product of this, it will make very little sense for you to be able to control all chakra forms. To be able to do such a thing would require time, skill, and affinities for chakra types that are--simply put--unobtainable to any known shinobi within the SLO universe.

Next off, there won't be the ability for you to "create" jutsu of your own--not unless the Devs request custom jutsu, that is--so all those custom abilities will--unfortunate as this may seem--have to be tossed out the window. Also, despite Vreg's character being an incredibly powerful force in the game, even HE is not "Master of Everything". As such, I'd advise you give up calling your character by these names. Besides, if you called yourself all these things, your character would more than likely accrue the unwanted attention of some very nasty orgs...orgs I don't think anyone would want to or could face on their own.

Now, on the off-chance that your character THOROUGHLY and COMPLETELY believes he is capable of fighting off hordes and hordes of enemies like some sort of a Dark Souls MLG Pro...

...then don't mind me, what I have to say, or the imminent negative comments you're bound to receive.

Otherwise, I'd very much advise you alter this character...and by a SUBSTANTIAL AMOUNT.

Good luck.

[Kawaiisickle]

This seems to be an extremely powerful character. If you're willing to put in the hours to make him a master of taijutsu, genjutsu, and kenjutsu, as this profile says, then good for you. However, keep in mind that as this game won't contain content explicitly derived from Naruto. So, there won't be any sharingan or rinnegan.

[Malice_Unleashed]

thank you for the feedback and help I have fixed up my character to make him a whole lot weaker but still keep my character as an imposing threat for other players to deal with while not making him too op and broken

[Shivraj]

There is no Hidden Gaia Village nor any Hidden Mountain Village http://www.shinobilifeonline.com/index.php/topic,732.0.html those are all the planned villages. Btw, you should probably try to find an org and clan, or create an org and clan, taking your character into account, the latter seems more suiting in my opinion .

[Dragon6624]

There is no Hidden Gaia Village nor any Hidden Mountain Village http://www.shinobilifeonline.com/index.php/topic,732.0.html those are all the planned villages. Btw, you should probably try to find an org and clan, or create an org and clan, taking your character into account, the latter seems more suiting in my opinion .

@Shivraj Recruiting much? ~_^)

@Malice_Unleashed Please search up the definition of a run-on sentence and revise your grammatical errors accordingly. Other than that, very good work and I'm thankful that you took our advice well.

Good luck.

[Kawaiisickle]

but still keep my character as an imposing threat for other players to deal with while not making him too op and broken

I shall restlessly anticipate the day on which we shall do battle.

[Shivraj]

There is no Hidden Gaia Village nor any Hidden Mountain Village http://www.shinobilifeonline.com/index.php/topic,732.0.html those are all the planned villages. Btw, you should probably try to find an org and clan, or create an org and clan, taking your character into account, the latter seems more suiting in my opinion .

@Shivraj Recruiting much? ~_^)

@Malice_Unleashed Please search up the definition of a run-on sentence and revise your grammatical errors accordingly. Other than that, very good work and I'm thankful that you took our advice well.

Good luck.

I said the latter, meaning creating an org and clan, seeing as he doesn't feel like a guy who'd follow others, and told him to either join a org and a clan, or create his own, please enlighten me as to where you got the vibe of advertising from that?

[StrawHatSeyi]

There should be a hidden mountain village imo

[Reminance]

I have nothing against you BUT, You could make the thread a bit better by adding the dots after sentences.
This way people can read it better ^_^

[Malice_Unleashed]

thanks for more of the feedback again and I know I made a lot of grammar and a bunch of other mistakes but the back story was a rushed job but I plan to improve daily if possible so thank you for the feedback again and any more suggestions are welcome and the more comments the better in my opinion be they negative or positive.
p.s what I mean by improve daily is that I intend to add a image of my character further on and fix up the back story every so often and of course see what everyone is up too